Cereal box prizes aren’t nearly as cool as they used to be

Forget U2 mass dumping their new album on us via Cloud, because Usher clearly knows what’s up when it comes to promotion. The R&B singer, now infamous for helping Justin Bieber go global, has decided to release a new song, “Clueless,” from his upcoming UR album via Cheerios box. The tune will apparently be found at the bottom of select boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios being sold stateside at Walmart. This follows on the heels of his summer promotion for the album, which saw him pairing up with Cheerios’ Buzz The Bee to bust a move while serving up some of the O’s healthiest facts.

It’s been a long time since the cereal box was a popular distribution method—but we’ve got to give it credit. When it was good, it was really, really good. So thank you, Usher, for bringing back the weird and wonderful world of cereal box prizes.

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Cereal box prizes aren’t nearly as cool as they used to be

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  Jackson 5 single

  Presumably what Usher was aiming for—but in this day of download codes it’s unlikely his boxed release is going to be anywhere near as cool as a playable cardboard Jackson 5 hit. He can try, though.j5collector.blogspot.ca

• Kellogg's Masks

  There have been a number of masks to come in boxes of Kellogg’s cereal, but collecting the full line of Star Trek faces was the only worthwhile goal in the 70s.cryptidkid.blogspot.ca

• Trix spoons

  Given the dubious flavouring of Twix cereal, we probably should have been worried about spoons that changed colour while touching that milky, sugary goodness. But it was magic and kids didn’t care.ebay.com

• Pogs

  Of all the cheap to make, fun to play gimmicks invented for kids, Pogs were easily the highlight of the 90s. Throwing a handful (or even one) into a box of cereal was guaranteed to send boxes flying off the shelves.driverlayer.com

• Baking Powder Submarine

  The struggle over confusing baking powder and baking soda began in 1954 for many a child—long before anyone really needed to cook. The reward for successfully telling the two apart was watching a plastic “submarine” bob up and down.onlinesciencemall.com

• Pencil Toppers

  As a rule, these were terrifying to look at and served no other purpose than to make pencils look cool while simultaneously throwing the balance off and making it impossible to write. Those trolls were ace, though.dorkhorde.blogspot.ca

• Bicycle wheel reflectors

  These were actually safe and useful. But actually getting them attached to the spokes of a bike wheel required Wolverine’s indestructible fingers.etsy.com

• Usher single

  Usher must have it bad for Cheerios. In Phase 2 of whatever that growing relationship is, he decided to send fans towards the “healthy choice” to get their hands on a single from his long-awaited album. Live the dream, Usher.multivu.com

• dollar

  Before teaming up with Usher, Cheerios decided the best way to reward breakfast seekers was to skip the tricks (Trix?) and just hand out money. In 1986 they individually wrapped one million dollar bills in cellophane. Wonder how much they paid Usher?Thinkstock

• Darkwing Duck Fanny Pack

  In Usher’s defense, it’s not the first time a healthy cereal has tried to snag some kids. The far-less-yummy sibling of Frosted Flakes, mere Corn Flakes, lured kids into proper eating habits with this slick fanny pack, long-since snagged by dads throughout the world.etsy.com

• Honeycomb watches

  Giant rubber watches have been the universal symbol of childhood cool since rubber and watches first met. Honeycomb—whose magical airy texture makes it impossible to feel full after only one bowl—knew this and tricked up the wrists with both digital and analogue versions.ebay.co.uk