Barack Obama admits it was 'a screw up' he didn't give Dolly Parton the Presidential Medal of Freedom
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In a segment called “Questions We’re Pretty Sure Barack Obama has Never Been Asked Before,” (I mean, it’s all right there in the title), Obama was pretty forthcoming with his long-secretive answers. Of course he chose Frosties from Wendy’s, that’s obvious (Joe Biden seems to be a Blizzard man himself). And the car is his favourite Monopoly playing piece (“It doesn’t tip over. It’s got good stability,” he reasoned. Dare we say it, much like his marriage to Michelle. #CouplesGoals). But when Stephen got to a hard-hitting question that has plagued humankind for decades, Barack was decidedly stunned.
“How does Dolly Parton not have a Presidential Medal of Freedom?” Stephen asked what we’re all thinking.
“That’s a mistake,” Barack said. “I’m shocked.” You and half the world, sir!
“Actually, that was a screw up!” he continued after Stephen insinuated that after eight years running America, that was the biggest mistake Obama made. “I’m surprised! I think I assumed that she had already got one. And that was incorrect. I’m surprised. She deserves one!”
“I’ll call Biden,” he added. Finally, our long national nightmare is over!
If you’re not exactly sure why the “Jolene” and “9 to 5” country crooner deserves a Medal of Freedom, let us fill you in: she has been funding literacy programs for children in her home state of Tennessee for years now, an initiative that has now gone global with Dolly personally funding the donation of books to children in need. She was one of the major financial backers for the COVID-19 vaccine research. She was a secret producer on the much-beloved Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series. She has gifted us with some of the best songs of the past 50 years, including “I Will Always Love You,” and “Islands in the Stream.” And her performance in Steel Magnolias should have been nominated for an Oscar! #DollyWasRobbed
It's no surprise the people have started their own petitions for the American government to officially honour Dolly's legacy. There was one started on Change.org at the beginning of the COVID-19 lockdowns urging Donald Trump to do the honour of bestowing Parton with the Medal of Freedom and there have been several over the past year advocating that Confederate statues in Tennessee be replaced with statues of Dolly Parton.
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During his time in the White House, Barack Obama bestowed many Presidential Medals of Freedom including those to Michael Jordan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Ellen DeGeneres, Diana Ross, Tom Hanks, Cicely Tyson, Meryl Streep, Stevie Wonder, Oprah, John Lewis, Maya Angelou and his then-veep, Joe Biden. But, glaringly, not Dolly Parton.
While we wait for President-elect Joe Biden to get on this pressing issue, the former POTUS still had the time to answer a few more questions from Stephen, like “What goes in a toaster?” (Spoiler alert: he got this question wrong! See if you can spot where he went astray.)
And finally, of course, Stephen’s most burning question of the evening was asking if Barack will invite him over for Thanksgiving dinner.
“I’d invite your wife,” he deadpanned. “I wouldn’t invite you. I also think that she would be observing all the protocols better than you.”
“Can I be her plus one?”
“We’ll think about it.”
We’re pretty sure that’s a no, Stephen.
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