It was a big day for Washington and pretty much the whole world yesterday when former F.B.I. director, James Comey testified in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee about his conversations with Donald Trump. Places around the world held viewing parties and people watched with baited breath to see what kind of Trump-destroying bombs Comey would drop. Admittedly, we were pretty excited up here in Canada too.
Canada watching Comey testimony pic.twitter.com/NNQ1JYtybc
— Brittlestar (@brittlestar) June 8, 2017
Comey had already released his seven-page opening statement with all the little details of his meetings with Trump. That included little gems like, ‘the President said, ‘I need loyalty, I expect loyalty.’ I didn’t move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way during the awkward silence that followed. We simply looked at each other in silence.’
So you can imagine why everyone was super excited to see what else Comey had to say about his meetings with the president. We were all settled in for a good long (almost three hours) drama-fest.
And we were not disappointed. Let’s relive some of the best moments of yesterday’s Comey testimony as they happened through Twitter. Because the only way to make this better is to add the humour of the good people of the internet.
Before it even started
CNN had a countdown to the testimony up almost a week before the actual hearing. People on Twitter were expressing excitement too. Some were ready to start drinking, many found they could only express themselves in gif form and still others had drawn up Bingo sheets to keep track of it all.
There’s a D.C. bar that’s giving patrons a free drink every time Trump tweets about Comey during his hearing.https://t.co/z4B6MgiDW6
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) June 8, 2017
— Michael M. Grynbaum (@grynbaum) June 8, 2017
Me, waiting for the Comey hearing to start pic.twitter.com/5t4b4gdx7v
— Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) June 8, 2017
Man we should’ve put Lordy and Amen on this Bingo card pic.twitter.com/PK43EAjfMQ
— Xeni Jardin (@xeni) June 8, 2017
Comey came off as a good guy but not a happy one
It was clear right from the get-go that Comey was not pleased with the way he was treated by Trump. Although he was very diplomatic about the whole thing, we could all tell. Plus, he did explicitly use the words ‘those were lies, plain and simple,’ in reference to Trump defaming his character and the F.B.I.
My takeaway from this hearing so far, in 1 tweet: Comey is piiiiiisssed
— Amber Phillips (@byamberphillips) June 8, 2017
‘Lordy’ is everyone’s new favourite expression
When Trump tweeted ‘James Comey better hope there are no ‘tapes’ of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press,’ Comey woke up in the middle of the night to do just that. He sent his personal memos on the Trump meetings to a ‘close friend’ at Columbia University. When talking about the moment he read Trump’s threatening tweet, Comey said his words were ‘Lordy! I hope there were tapes!’ and the internet got a new meme.
I need ‘Lordy, I hope there are tapes’ on a t-shirt
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 8, 2017
“Lordy” is level 3 profanity for Comey.
— Jacob Weisberg (@jacobwe) June 8, 2017
— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) June 8, 2017
“Lordy, I hope there are tapes.” — James Comey pic.twitter.com/l2R7Vadrxh
— shauna (@goldengateblond) June 8, 2017
We can all agree with Jim Comey that, Lordy, we hope there are tapes.
— Preet Bharara (@PreetBharara) June 8, 2017
People crashed the Columbia U website
As you might expect, people went looking for this mystery ‘friend’ of Comey’s, maybe a little over-enthusiastically. Spoiler: they got him.
The Columbia Law School faculty page is down cuz everyone’s trying to pinpoint Comey’s snitch pic.twitter.com/Idmsj8zanH
— Michelle Collins (@michcoll) June 8, 2017
A professor at Columbia law school’s phone right now pic.twitter.com/SNC4Cm5ax5
— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) June 8, 2017
— Dan Friedman (@dfriedman33) June 8, 2017
Whoa, Comey cancelled on his wife for this
The dinner that Comey went to with Trump (where he asked him to drop the Michael Flynn investigation) was supposed to be date night with Mrs. Comey. He had to cancel in order to have that weird awkward dinner alone with the president. When Senator King said ‘That’s one of the all-time great excuses [to cancel on your wife],’ Comey was not about that kind of misogynistic humour. He responded, ‘In retrospect, I love spending time with my wife. I wish I had been there that night.’ Awww!
Comey says Trump called him at work to invite him to dinner — and he had to cancel a date with his wife. 🙁 pic.twitter.com/ss3ebCUuHj
— David Mack (@davidmackau) June 8, 2017
It’s strangely adorable that Comey found a way to give his wife a little shoutout during his testimony
— Alexis Benveniste (@apbenven) June 8, 2017
Is this a hearing or the climax of a romantic comedy about Comey and his wife in which he publicly proves how much he’s loved her all along?
— Mary Cella (@mary_cella) June 8, 2017
People got really worried about John McCain
In case you don’t recall, John McCain was the Republican who ran against Obama in the 2008 presidential election. To be honest, we’d kind of forgotten about him. Well, yesterday he was trending right along with Comey for his line of questioning which didn’t really make much sense. He seemed to have the Hillary email investigation confused for the Russia investigation and then accidentally called President Trump, ‘President Comey.’ People were rightfully concerned.
McCain confusing the email server investigation that ended in July 2016 with the current investigation into Russian interference. Dear God.
— Ragnarok Lobster (@eclecticbrotha) June 8, 2017
McCain: “Maybe the Clinton emails colluded with the Russians.”
McCain: “Maybe Clinton’s emails are the Russians.”
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) June 8, 2017
I’m sweating I’m so uncomfortable with McCain’s performance.
— Alexander De Luca (@AlexanderDeLuca) June 8, 2017
#JohnMcCain: So did Hillary help OJ hijack the planes and attack Pearl Harbor?
John McCain: I said do you know the muffin man?!
— Catherine Santos (@6_la_Vie) June 8, 2017
Then it finally ended
As excited as we all were for it to begin, after three hours, we were all pretty done. Every news outlet immediately published their main takeaways. We can only imagine how long the whole news gang is going to be over-analyzing every little detail of the hearing. Over here in Canada though, our fun might be over. Time to go back to thanking the Great Moose that our leader is Justin Trudeau and not Donald Trump.
My reaction to the end of every congressional hearing: pic.twitter.com/AA73rEiQtZ
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) June 8, 2017