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Bra-Wielding Burglar Thwarted By Woman Wielding Ceramic Chicken: Cops
You can’t say these folks aren’t resourceful. A Kentucky woman, who allegedly tried to strangle another woman with a bra, failed after the victim fought back with a ceramic chicken. There’s no mention of what led to the attack, but police say that Ashley Sies allegedly pushed her way into a 61-year-old’s apartment, where she wrapped a bra around the senior’s neck. The two struggled for about 15 minutes before the victim was able to reach for one of her ceramic chickens and bash her assailant on the head. Sies was knocked out in the process, and has since been charged with first-degree burglary.

Phyllis Jefferson, Ohio Woman, Stabs Boyfriend for ‘Eating All of the Salsa’: Cops
Never get between a woman and her nachos. Ronnie Buckner, 61, was found bleeding outside of a home after his girlfriend allegedly stabbed him with a pen after yelling about his salsa intake. But it didn’t end there. After the alleged pen jabbing incident, Jefferson then tried to knock over Bucker’s TV. After he caught it from falling, the woman went into the kitchen where she retrieved a small knife, according to the police report. Jefferson is facing charges of felonious assault and criminal damaging. Bucker, meanwhile, is expected to make a full recovery.

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Men ride around ‘drunk’ and ‘high’ with owl in car
Wildlife officials are looking for a Florida man after a video of him holding a federally protected bird went viral. “We chillin’ with an owl right now, and we vibin’,” said the man in the footage. The people in the car can also be seen picking up a bottle of what appears to be alcohol and drinking from it as they drive along the street. But how did they get the owl, you ask? Officials say the man believed to be the culprit in the video originally posted this status on his Facebook page: “3 a.m. in the morning we are drunk and we are high. We bout to take this thing home and eat it up, just found it on the road.” Officials remain concerned about the safety of the bird.

Man sues Pizza Hut over ‘excessively hard croutons’
We didn’t even know Pizza Hut served croutons. In any case, U.K. resident Everett Chatman was eating them when he says part of his dentures broke. Chatman claimed the incident was a result of the “excessively hard croutons” the restaurant had “negligently” served him. Surprisingly, the man won $2,400 in compensation and court costs.
US man tending to gravestone dies when it falls on him
This is obviously a tragic story; but seriously, what are the odds? Stephen Woytack, 74, was affixing a religious symbol to his mother’s grave for Easter when the roughly 350 lb headstone fell and crushed him. The warmer spring weather is thought to have thawed and softened the ground, which is blamed for making the stone less stable. After it fell, the cemetery caretaker called police and tried to lift the stone, but it proved too heavy. “It’s just a freak thing that happened,” the caretaker said. “It’s heartbreaking.”

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