Gwyneth Paltrow went on Howard Stern‘s radio show and it was amazing. Whether you love her, hate her or pretend you hate her but really love her, there’s no denying that Goop dished out so much awesomeness during the hour-plus interview. And just like the $5,000 juicer Goop thinks makes an ideal gift, she dishes out pure gold.
It starts off with Howard gushing over how hot she is and that she ignores the bad gossip, then moves on to the usual work stuff, how she can memorize any script, how she could recite Chekhov at the age of three (insert multiple eye rolls here), her mom’s reaction to her turning down Titanic. It moves on to Howard thinks other women are jealous of her (“You do?”) and that it must be hard for Gwyn to maintain female friendships, with famous and not-famous people.
Her best famous friends? “Cameron Diaz. And Jay [Z] and Beyoncé are my others.” Of course.
But then it gets good. Really, really, REALLY good.
She “definitely” fell in love with Brad Pitt who was so “gorgeous and sweet.” Her parents adored him and her father “loved him like a son” and was “devastated” when they broke up. Howard insists that Gwyneth is the love of Brad’s life but instead of anyone pointing out the obvious (um, his wife and mother of his six children), she just laughs and says, “I wasn’t ready, and he was too good for me. I was too young and I didn’t know what I was doing.”
As for her other famous ex, Ben Affleck, her parents were not that into it. And despite their three years together, she and Ben didn’t seem to be either. “He wasn’t in a good place in his life to have a girlfriend.” She did say they still talk and unlike Angelina Jolie, she has lovely things to say about Ben’s wife, Jennifer Garner.
“I like [Ben]. I’m friends with him still… But he settled down, and his wife is awesome! Not only is she beautiful, she’s so warm and she cooks, and is so into her kids. She’s really great and she’s hilarious… I had a girls’ dinner before the summer, and she came over, she’s my neighbour, I really like her a lot.”
Then there’s the time Gwynnie was besties with Winona Ryder, who was dating Matt Damon during her time with Ben. “I haven’t seen her in years,” Paltrow told Stern but she did quash rumours that she stole the role from Winona over the lead role in Shakespeare in Love. “This is not true, at all. No, that’s not what happened… No, that’s an urban myth. I swear to God I did not. I’m raising my hand on the Bible.”
But aside from all the edible soundbites, it’s the WAY Gwyneth delivers. She says she ignores all the tabloids … but when Howard asks about the elevator fight that went down between Jay, Bey and Solange, she says, “If any of my friends have anything like that, I call right away. Absolutely… If someone’s clearly going through something, I always go straight for it.” So does she live in a media-free bubble or not?
She recalls the goofiness of the whole “conscious uncoupling” phenomenon from Chris Martin, the possibility of him dating Jennifer Lawrence (or Rihanna or Lindsay Lohan, God help us), the coolness of Johnny Depp. And when Howard asks if she was good in her first movie, Flesh and Bone, she responds the only way Gwyneth Paltrow would respond: “Yeah.” We know. But it’s the WAY she says it. It’s long but you must listen to it. The whole thing. It’s so worth the time. On your lunch break, during your commute to or from your job, on your lunch break, in the background while you should be working, whatever. It’s perfection.