It’s a common complaint for many moms out there — their husbands/partners/companions simply aren’t cutting it when it comes to equal responsibilities in the household, specifically when it comes to the children. But unlike some, who sadly put up with way too much crap or complain to no avail, Busy Philipps called an audible that changed everything: she threatened husband Marc Silverstein with divorce.
“My thinking was that if I leave, at least then maybe I’d get two days off a week,” Philipps told Fair Play author Eve Rodsky for Harper’s Bazaar, but made sure to add, “I understand that I’m in a place of privilege, and even if I left Marc and I’d been super down on my luck, there was a version of life that I could have made work for me and my daughters. This is not the reality for many women.” And it worked. She recalled Marc saying he’ll “do anything,” to which she had a quick reply: “Okay, then do everything. Because I have done it all, all by myself, and I’m done, dude.'” So he did. The screenwriter decided he would be the one to stay at home with their daughters, Birdie, 11, and Cricket, 6. Not only that but Marc would also take over the morning and bedtime routines of their eldest as well as prepare all the meals.
“I was fully out the door,” Philipps recalled. “I wasn’t expecting anything from him, but what we ended up doing was creating our own system.” And it’s a system Silverstein now loves — as does his wife. Because Marc will not only take their girls to school, he also makes Busy her special coffee and brings it into their bedroom while she’s still asleep. “He has conversations with them that I’m jealous of,” she said, but acknowledged, “The closeness he now has with these girls, it’s really special.”
At one point, Silverstein joined the interview and revealed that therapy and the real possibility that his marriage could come to an end was the wakeup call he needed. “I realized that deep happiness comes from my family,” he remembered. “And once I figured out what I could bring to the table, things changed. I wanted to do more.”
Busy added: “[In a partnership], you have to decide what works for you. And you have to think about your children. I want everything for my girls, but the only way they’re going to believe it’s possible for them is if they see me have it.”
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#nationaldaughterday please swipe to see how many pictures it took to get this one❤️ To have daughters is the greatest joy of my life, even on days when I'm sure I'm failing them. The good news for all of us, I guess, is that I'm not a person who gives up easily-like for instance with getting this picture😂.❤️❤️❤️
Philipps pointed out, “Many women wait until it’s too late. At that point their resentment is too high and their communication patterns are set.” Wow. Who among you/us are guilty of this?
Busy’s actions are both brave and inspirational because it takes a lot to issue an ultimatum like that. For most people, it would probably seem more like an idle threat than anything else but there’s something about Busy’s outspoken and ballsy nature that has us believing she’d have stayed true to her word. Thankfully, for all of them, Marc wasn’t willing to take that risk.
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Thank you @harpersbazaarus and @everodsky for the frank discussion about equitable partnerships and dividing domestic labor- the link to the article is in my stories if you would like to read it!!ALSO! GET EVE'S BOOK FAIR PLAY WHICH IS OUT NOW! And also thank you to Harper's for this amazing picture which is a fairly great encapsulation of so many things and probably should be framed in my house.🤣❤️🎀😳 Photographer: @thomaswhiteside Fashion Editor: @cassieanderson212 Hair: @kikihaircutter Makeup: @kmannmakeup Nails: @lisajachno