Life Food
  • Facebook
    Facebook
  • Twitter
    Twitter
  • Pinterest
    Pinterest
  • +
  • Linkedin
    Linkedin
  • WhatsApp
    WhatsApp
  • Email
    Email
SHARE THIS
  • Facebook
    Facebook
  • Twitter
    Twitter
  • Pinterest
    Pinterest
  • Linkedin
    Linkedin
  • WhatsApp
    WhatsApp
  • Email
    Email

Love it or hate it (though very few hate it), every Canadian knows that poutine is a national delicacy. There are few foods more Canadian than crispy French fries sprinkled with cheese curds and slathered in gravy. Butter tarts and nanaimo bars are pretty good too, but poutine is at the top. And as Canadians, we’re pretty generous — we love to share our food with other countries. So when one Canadian moved to Boston, he was pretty excited to see that poutine was gaining in popularity there. That is, until he saw what Americans were trying to pass off as poutine.

Spencer Buell, writer at Boston Magazine and poutine enthusiast, noticed that the local Boston restaurants were not doing justice to our national food. In fact, they were downright ruining it. From spaghetti to eggs to an actual pot pie, Americans were creating horrific poutine-like concoctions that would definitely be indictable offences in Canada.

We get it, America. You have to take everything and make it “bigger and better,” but you messed with the wrong beloved dish. Buell wrote an entire piece that calls what Boston is serving as poutine “cultural barf.” He then goes on to outline exactly what poutine is not — i.e. all the things America has made poutine into. Buell’s piece is certainly worth a read (maybe don’t do it while eating though). And since knowledge is power, here are a few of the terrible things Americans are doing to our poutine.

Egg and bolognese? “poutine”

First of all, why are we pairing tomato sauce and eggs at all. Second, no thank you. This is not okay.

Stew “poutine”

Is this actual stew? Sure, put mushrooms in your gravy, but this just doesn’t look right. Also, are there tater tots in there too?

Doughnut “poutine”

Okay, we’ll admit this one was our bad. We’re not sure what Tim Horton’s was going for here. All we can say in means of defense is that at least it’s only offered in American locations. We’d like to say a classic Canadian “sorry” for this one.

Chicken pot-ine pie

Oh my. So much is wrong with this. Starting with the fact that this isn’t even beef gravy. Also, where is the cheese? There’s only one poutine ingredient present, and morally, you can’t call that poutine.

Mustard-relish-ketchup “poutine”

This is a downright abomination. It looks like this may have started out as poutine, but it’s been destroyed beyond recognition by that pool of mustard. Stop this.

Tater tots “poutine”

Okay, we’re not entirely against meat on your poutine (although it’s still not tradition) but that’s not the real problem here. How can one have enjoyable poutine if it’s made with tater tots? They would go mushy immediately. Poutine requires extra-crispy fries. No one wants to be eating gravy-potato mush.

Tator tots…cheese…bacon…pulled pork…bbq sauce drizzled on top… #americanpoutine

A post shared by Robyn (@valntyne) on

Fry-less “poutine”

Tell me this is not hashtagged poutine. Spoiler: it is. We just said you can’t make poutine with anything other than extra-crispy fries. That’s just a mountain of grated potato. Nope. No.

#magicmountain #food #americanpoutine

A post shared by Samantha (@captserious) on

Just cheese

Where is the poutine? All we see is a cheese patty. Poutine is made with cheese curds, not just melted cheese. Bye.

What?

This is just… not okay.

Real Poutine

If you made it all the way through those abominations, here’s a reward. A beautiful plate of REAL poutine. Now go out and buy some for yourself. You deserve it.