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Now that summer is here, you’ve probably seen a lot of these:

Canada Goose
They’re Canada geese, and our country has a complicated relationship with them.

Sometimes they can be really cute:

Goose nest

When this one nested in a Beer Store parking lot, Canadians put out traffic cones, seeds and a water dish so mom wouldn’t have to leave her eggs unattended.

They also do some pretty amazing things for Canada abroad:

Untitled-1

But don’t be fooled. Canada geese are dangerous animals:

Goose attack

They’ll follow you home and won’t let you leave:

Angry goose

You think we’re kidding?

Untitled-3
He’s got nowhere to be.

Some say Canada geese are actually demon spawns from hell:

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So what’s stopping us from loading them into a rocket and shooting them into the sun?

Well, this:

And that time a Mother Goose laid eggs on an Edmonton man’s balcony…

And they actually hatched on Mother’s Day:

And so, before we know it, we’ve been suckered into helping them again. Remember what the University of Calgary did?

They set up crash mats so that goslings could be reunited with their parents:

Goslings

Not to mention our police officers shut down entire highways so they can cross:

But apparently, we screwed up when we named a clothing line after them:

Canada goose

They didn’t appreciate us stealing their identity:

And soon, they started attacking us (again):

Watch this one right to the end. You’ll be happy you did.

Taking no prisoners, they’ve even turned on their own kind:

Canada Goose
What now, swan?

We’ve tried reasoning with them!

Reasoning
Just call him the goose whisperer.

But when diplomacy fails, we’re forced to retaliate:

Untitled-4

Our top scientists are tackling this issue with a state-of-the-art drone arsenal.

First, there was the Goosinator:

Goosinator

Now there’s the Goosebuster:

Goosebuster

The Canada Goose air fleet is already mobilizing to retaliate:

Goose fleet
Tssht! “Pilot to bombardier, come in!” Tssht!

Its navy has already left port:

Geese

This war is only beginning, people:

There are sure to be many casualties:

Grave goose

So this Canada Day, remember, no one is safe:

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