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Carly Rae Jepsen is big in Japan. The Canadian singer dropped her 2015 album EMOTION in Japan two months before the rest of the world got to dance in their underwear to “I Really Like You,” and toured the country at the end of the year. Jepsen released bonus tracks and a deluxe edition DVD for her Japanese fans as well, with the next logical step in her love affair with the land of the rising sun being obvious; a hilariously over-the-top big budget commercial.

Jepsen is using her great head of hair and poppy bop, “I Really Like You” to help sell Moist Diane Shampoo, a product we’re sure is fine despite its unpleasant name. Ugh, ‘moist.’ Maybe it translates to a less icky word in Japanese.

Jepsen plays matchmaker, helping a young woman admit her true feelings for her crush before he jets off to a country that doesn’t use the word ‘moist’ for shampoo. We assume. The main character speaks in Japanese (and we don’t), so she may have also told him that she put something incriminating in his bag and won’t reveal its contents unless he kisses her. Ahhh, true love.

The commercial raises many questions. Why is this girl in love with a guy who pats the top of her head like a puppy, the universal sign for ‘Friendzone’? Why does Carly Rae speak in English and the girl speaks in Japanese? Is the main character supposed to get the guy because she has good hair, even though she’s sporting a ‘I have three kids and one of them was throwing up all night’-exhausted ponytail? Is she in love with the guy because he is obviously follicle-ly blessed and packed…ugh…Moist Diane? Is everyone going to miss their planes because all the flight attendants are showing off the routine they’ve been working on for weeks in the break room? Are the flight attendants actually running towards this guy because he’s trying to bring more than 100ml of liquid on the plane? Are people in Japanese airports really this happy? Should we all move to Japan?

Check out Jepsen’s Japanese version of Love Actually above and be thankful that in Canada, you can enjoy CRJ’s music without having to buy a product that has the word ‘moist’ in the title.