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Court Rules Man Can Pee All Over His Floor If That’s What He Wants
Justice is served! A German court ruled that a man, who preferred to urinate standing up, didn’t owe his landlord money for damage allegedly caused by splashing and/or missing the bowl. While the judge heard expert testimony that urine had indeed caused damage to the marble floors, he still ruled the man’s method of peeing was within cultural norms. We’ll just assume he leaves the seat up, too.

Cringe away, guys — this spider bites off his own genitals
And the itsy-bitsy spider savagely bit off its own reproductive organs. Aww. In yet another reason to be terrified of all things arachnid, male coin spiders are known to break off, and then eat, their own genitals after sex. Talk about romantic. The reasoning behind this bizarre ritual is even more disturbing: by breaking off their “palp” inside of the female, males can ensure they’re the only baby spider daddy.

Maury

Winner of ‘best teacher’ award arrested for sleeping with student
Now that deserves an A+! Georgia teacher Elizabeth Scroggs was charged with felony sexual assault by a person with supervisory or disciplinary authority, because she was allegedly doing the dirty with an 18-year-old student. Even though the teen reportedly consented to everything, the law doesn’t allow someone with supervisory or disciplinary powers over another to have a relationship with the person he or she is in charge of. The arrest came after an anonymous phone call.

Ludwig, the Heroic Pot-Bellied Pig, Stops Robbers in Their Tracks!
You probably never thought you’d see the words “heroic” and “pig” in the same sentence, did you? A 240-pound pig sprang into action after robbers broke into its U.K. home on New Year’s Day. The owners noticed something was up when they woke up one morning to find their door open and Ludwig pacing around looking concerned. Little did they know he just foiled a robbery all on his own. The thieves made off with an empty handbag and a wallet, but missed out on $5,000 worth of musical instruments.

Spider pig

Cat set to undergo gender reassignment surgery
This pet is breaking barriers. You see, Mittens the cat is a little different from other felines. It chases string and purrs just fine, but Mittens is actually a hermaphrodite. Because the cat has both male and female genitalia (which is causing health problems related to urination), her Newfoundland owners have been struggling to decide which gender to assign to their pet. Colleen Clarke-Murphy said she would prefer to have another female cat, but will trust the vet’s opinion and make Mittens a boy. Hopefully after this, the cat can go back to worrying about cat things, like feeding time.

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