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Demi Moore released her memoir Inside Out in October and grabbed the headlines for weeks with her candid and sometimes shocking admissions within the book’s pages, including the revelation of her ex-husband Ashton Kutcher’s alleged affairs. Now Moore is opening up about another painful experience she explores in the book: her relapse after 20 years of sobriety.

In a sneak peek of an upcoming episode of Red Table Talk, which is set to be released in full on Monday, Moore was joined by her daughters Rumer and Tallulah Willis (Moore’s youngest daughter Scout Willis was not present for filming). The actor remained quiet while her daughters spoke about the painful period they spent watching their mother battle alcoholism, which eventually led to the Willis girls not speaking to her for three years.

Sharing their experience with Red Table Talk host Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow Smith and mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones, 25-year-old Tallulah recalled watching her mother turn into a monster she didn’t recognize. “It’s like the sun went down and like, a monster came. I remember there’s just the anxiety that would come up in my body when I could sense that her eyes were shutting a little bit more, the way she was speaking,” said Tallulah. “Or she would be a lot more affectionate with me if she wasn’t sober.”

“Which was just jarring,” added 31-year-old Rumer, the eldest of the Willis sisters.

Adding that there were times when her mother would become angry and the sisters felt as though they had to treat their mother like a child, Tallulah continued, saying “It was not the mom that we had grown up with.”

In excerpts from Inside Out shared by Page Six, Moore talks about being pressured to drink by ex-husband Ashton Kutcher, who she said didn’t believe that alcoholism was a real addiction. “Ashton was enjoying a glass of good red wine when he said, ‘I don’t know if alcoholism is a real thing — I think it’s all about moderation,’” writes Moore. “I wanted to be that girl. The girl who could have a glass of wine at dinner, or do a tequila shot at a party. In my mind, Ashton wanted that, too. So I tried to become that: a fun, normal girl.”

Paired with the pain of a miscarriage, Moore writes that her drinking led to the collapse of her eight-year relationship with Kutcher and her estrangement from daughters Tallulah and Scout and ex-husband Bruce Willis.

“Ashton had encouraged me to go in this direction. When I went too far, though, he let me know how he felt by showing a picture he’d taken of me resting my head on the toilet the night before,” wrote Moore. “It seemed like a good-natured joke at the time. But it was really just shaming.” Moore adds that she’s still grateful for the experience, writing “I’m grateful to Ashton, too, believe it or not. Whatever pain we went through together enabled both of us to grow into the people we are today.”

The full episode of Red Table Talk featuring Demi Moore, Rumer Willis and Scout Willis will premiere on Monday, November 4.

Ashton Kutcher responds to the Demi Moore cheating allegations