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A male chiropractor has come up with a new way for women to manage their periods. Mensez is a glue that “when applied to the labia minora…creates a temporary seal to retain menstrual fluids inside until urination.”

We know what you’re asking, and indeed, he is serious. Unfortunately.

Dr Daniel Dopps formed Mensez Technologies with the goal, “to better the lives of women around the world.” A noble endeavour, Dopps, but we have a funny feeling that you might be a tad out of touch with what women really want. Because nobody wants to glue any of their orifices shut, especially when there’s blood and uterine lining inside that wants out.

Mensez Feminine Lip-Stick is a proprietary blend of amino acids and natural oils, packaged in a convenient lipstick applicator. Honestly, we couldn’t make this stuff up, even if we tried.

The product started flying around the internet when the doctor posted to Facebook comparing the product to when your lips get stuck together, which “didn’t hurt and was kind of fun.” As vagina owners we assure you, Dopps, the lips on our face do NOT feel the same.

According to the product’s website, the Mensez Facebook page was hacked and deactivated, but not before one user could take a screenshot of that post and another comment from the doctor himself. Prepare to be infuriated.

“Yes, I am a man and you as a woman, should have come up with a better solution then [sic] diapers and plugs, but you didn’t,” he starts, before explaining that women are distracted and less productive on their periods.

But that’s not all. He goes on to say that, “women are secretive and try to hide the fact that periods CAN be gross, crusty, smelly, and incredibly awful.” How charming.

The comment shows just how deluded the creator is. Also, his grammar could use some help.

Is this stuff even legal? Has the FDA seen this? We’d like to seal up this idea with a permanent glue and never ever think about it again.

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