Donald Trump is not exactly known for his tact or his eloquence. Reporters keep hopefully speculating that maybe after [insert arbitrary date here] Trump will become more presidential and it’s just not happening. If you thought the New Year might bring about a new era of Trump, you were grossly mistaken. Instead, he’s just as crass, juvenile, insecure and reactionary as ever. Oh, and he’s still threatening nuclear war too.
On New Years Day, North Korean dictator and nuclear warhead enthusiast, Kim Jong Un made his yearly address to his people. In it, he reminded the U.S. president (and everyone else who likes not being blown up) of the ever-present threat North Korea poses.
“The entire U.S. territories are within our firing range,” Kim said. “And the nuclear missile button is right there on my desk.” Scary? Yes. Intimidating? Most certainly. The kind of thing you should respond to in anger? Absolutely not. But when was the last time Donald Trump reacted to something reasonably? Tuesday night (yes, two days after Kim’s comment) the President of the United States tweeted that he also has a button. And it’s MUCH bigger.
North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018
If you’re having trouble processing this development, you’re not alone. Each new comment from one of these unstable parties armed with nuclear codes (no, there are no real buttons) is less believable than the last. Thank goodness that it’s 2018, so we all have Twitter to keep us sane (and drive us crazy). It seems the best way to cope with the situation is to joke about it. Oh, and point out that “button” has a clear symbolic meaning.
— violator (@rotaloiv) January 3, 2018
how i thought i would die in
2005: shark attack
2007: moshing too hard at warped tour
2016: murdered by a clown
2018: a dick measuring contest involving nuclear launch button sizes
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) January 3, 2018
When Blabbermouth Don talks about who has the bigger nuclear button, I think we all know what he’s talking about. It’s your basic dick-measuring contest. Sad!
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) January 3, 2018
My nuclear button is small, but thick.
— Zach Braff (@zachbraff) January 3, 2018
— Philip Lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) January 3, 2018
the button probably just looks bigger by comparison pic.twitter.com/M58GF1DJgh
— social media pants (@nick_pants) January 3, 2018
is this real??? I still can’t see his word vomit. this can’t be real. it’s real isn’t it. https://t.co/hgg3wSa6SH
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 3, 2018
If you thought perhaps Twitter might do something about this possibly-world-ending nonsense going down on their watch, sorry to disappoint, but no. They told The Hill that these THREATS OF NUCLEAR WAR DIRECTED AT NORTH KOREA do not violate their terms of service. Good to know. Historically, Twitter doesn’t have a great record of policing the posts on their website, even if they can be classified as hate speech, so this isn’t too surprising. Governments are also exempt from Twitter’s policies against glorifying violence so it would seem Trump could say pretty much anything he wants on there. Hooray.