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Dwarf stripper gets bride pregnant on her hen night
And they all lived happily ever after. Oh wait – that’s another story. A Spanish woman had to confess to cheating on her husband-to-be with a dwarf stripper during her bachelorette party after she gave birth to a baby with dwarfism. Her fiance actually believed the baby was his at first, but after he kept questioning doctors about how the baby could’ve been born with the condition, she finally came clean.

French Conservatives Struggle With Giant Inflatable Butt-Plug
Oh, they’re struggling alright. As part of an art fair, a 24-foot inflatable object officially called “Tree” is being temporarily displayed at Place Vendome in France. The problem is that it looks more like a sex toy than a plant. While most people don’t seem to mind, the artist was attacked while installing it.

Man Arrested for ‘Aggressive’ Mopping
Good thing nobody tried to sweep this under the rug. John Thornton was visiting a hotel in Connecticut this week when he noticed an employee mopping the floor. The manner in which she was mopping must have displeased him, as he grabbed the mop from her and began, in the words of the police report, “mopping aggressively.” Thornton was charged with breach of peace. The floor, last we checked, was still clean.

Remorseful bank robber waits for police after heist
You almost have to hope the cops go easy on this guy, as it sounds like he just fell on hard times. A 64-year-old man walked into a Washington state bank and handed the teller a note demanding cash. After the teller complied, rather than flee the scene, the suspect lingered near the building until police showed up.

Polar bear scare ruins Halloween for kids in Nunavut village
Halloween is supposed to be a time of frightful fun, but the possibility of being eaten by a bear on your trick-or-treating run is where most people draw the line. Children in Arviat, Nunavut, will be hosting indoor festivities on Oct. 31 at a community hall because of all the rampant polar bear activity in the area lately.

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