Twas the night before an arbitrary Thursday and all through the land, several celebrities were stirring about the collections they’d planned. Rihanna‘s socks were hung, in collaboration with Stance, her hopes could be that women might wear them to pour it up and dance.
The children were flipping through their Instagram feed, seeing visions of Kylie and Kendall’s Topshop collection while they sat on the toilet and peed. And mamma deep in her wine, and papa with a nightcap, had just settled down for a long binge session of The Slap.
First look at Kendall + Kylie for @topshop holiday. The collection is available this Friday! A photo posted by King Kylie (@kyliejenner) on
When out on the Twitter, there arose quite some chatter, and everyone sprang from their beds to see if Ann Coulter had said something unsavoury about Black Lives Matter.
Away to their login screens, they flew like a flash, searched via hashtag to see nothing but trash. Nicki Minaj days before was keeping us abreast of her new-fallen Kmart collection, giving us a luster of excitement about her affordable direction.
Then what to our wondering eyes did appear? But a couple of ridiculous onesies that would cause some to leer. Twas Katy Perry who designed them, likely cheaply and quick, and we knew in a moment that many would cherish this holiday pick.
Just a little over a month away, and even Mrs. Claus can’t find anything to wear to the holiday party!🎄🎅🏼🎄www.belovedshirts.com/katyperry A video posted by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on
More rapid than eagles, people would buy all of this swag. Even though we’d hoped and prayed that none would appear in a shopping bag.
But, Katy! But, Kylie! Now Kendall and Rihanna! But, Nicki! But, Nicki! But, Nicki at Kmart. To the top of the best-seller list! To the top of the mall! Now spend away! Spend away! Accrue holiday debt, y’all!
And we’re sure the holiday collections we’ll keep rolling in. But in the meantime, a very early Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.