Are our fav hot moms letting their kids dress them this week? The magic eight ball points to “definitely, yes.”
First of all, if you haven’t seen Fergie’s music vid for her new track M.I.L.F. $, take a gander. (We forgive if you haven’t—it’s the summer and there is waterskiing to be done, and ice cream to be eaten.) So, yeah. Fergie got a bunch of hot moms like Kim Kardashian and supermodels Chrissy Teigen and Alessandra Ambrosio into a room to shake their butts and look all… sexy?
And while rapping about being a hot mom is totally cool with us (props to Snooki for trying to make motherhood look gangster, too), it doesn’t magically negate bad fashion—Fergie’s oversized Moschino hat, thick gold belt and tapered leather pants this week are evidence.
But the singer and mom of one wasn’t the only parent to make a sartorial misstep. Mailn Akerman (who’s got a three-year-old) looked like she was wearing an adult version of something her toddler wears to bed, and mother of four Meryl Streep gave off a grandmother vibe in a frightening, nightie-like frock.
Hot moms, we have some advice: spend your hard-earned M.I.L.F. money on a new stylist.
Fergie proves even MILFs can’t pull off ridiculous leather Moschino hats
Arielle KebbelBeach parties in the Hamptons are supposed to be colourful affairs—at least, that’s what we thought (not that we’ve ever been invited). Actress Arielle Kebbel, however, went basic with black and white (except her toes) and, basically, failed to capture the essence of summer. We’re cold on the inside.Getty Images
Ashley GreeneThe large sash on Ashley Greene’s shiny black dress is about the only thing to look at here. And not in a good way. Also: this material! Why all the shine!? It’s like a bad 80s bridesmaid dress that should be forever banished to the back of the closet.Getty Images
Billie LourdWhile we are all for the Angelina Jolie-esque thigh-high slit that Billie Lourd is sporting, this look totally lost its edge with the mismatch of colours and shapes along the neckline. They look like a bad craft from Art Attack, and distract from Billie’s natural beauty. Getty Images
Cat DeeleyTelevision personality Cat Deeley hit the town in a plaid baby-doll dress that looked more childish than chic. Something about the approachability of the garment—that and the ruffled bib—make us feel like it should belong to a child. Not a grown woman. Getty Images
Christina MilianPeplum is hard to pull off, and Christina Milian failed to do it proper. We’d suggest taking this dress to the tailor, getting him or her to lop the dangly bits off completely, and then maybe just reconsider the garment altogether.Getty Images
Diane KrugerWhile we love the menswear mixed with feminine lace—Diane, you’re usually so on point!—the effect of seeing the tails of the shirt hang through the sheer skirt is confusing. It’s like we can see something we’re not supposed to. The writing is literally on the wall, Diane: this look is a miss. Getty Images
Elaine HendrixElaine Hendrix, star of the hit TV show Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll, chose a really, really deep-V romper with a leather sash and cleavage-bearing halter that changes somewhere below the waist into a pair of cargo shorts. Neat trick. Terrible outfit. Getty Images
Emily RatajkowskiEvidently, the maker of Emily Ratajkowski’s red mini dress couldn’t decide what to do with the leftover fabric. “Um, staple it to the waist, I guess. Yeah, like a tail, but from the side. Oh, I also have some glitter. What can we use that for?” Points for creativity, anyway…Getty Images
Emma RobertsScream Queens actress Emma Roberts wore the perfect back-to-school junior high outfit…only problem is, she isn’t going back to school. And certainly not junior high. Emma, you’re 25. We Googled it. Let’s get some grown-up girl clothes into the mix.Getty Images
FergieFergie looked like she was caught playing a game of dress-up with her toddler this week. The WWF-style belt and leather Moschino conductor’s cap were paired with leather genie pants (that had odd tapered ankle) and a sheer top. We’re not sure what inspired this look, but we’re encouraging Fergie to take it back to the drawing board. Or the tickle trunk.Getty Images
January JonesEvery once in a while flares flare up again as a trend. January Jones has over-embraced the most current iteration of the 70s staple with an oversized bomber and ultra-wide pants paired with several sparkly elements. This has never been, and still is not, a thing. Getty Images
Keke PalmerCute butterfly sandals, Keke Palmer. And that’s the only nice thing we have to say about that outfit. Why are you wearing a bejeweled dress draped off of your shoulders? And how many layers of necklace is too many? Surely this many. Getty Images
Malin AkermanMalin Akerman is simultaneously ruining several perfectly good trends with this plunging neckline, floral jumpsuit. Malin, we have a fashion math lesson for you: a three trendy bits (neckline, floral, jumpsuit) does not equate to a good outfit! Also, we’d have swapped those ankle boots for a pair of heeled sandals. Getty Images
Mariah CareyIf the clothes don’t fit, don’t wear them. That’s not an expression, but it should be, and Mariah Carey should heed it. She is quite literally bursting at the seems in this leather jacket. And we’re certain the pants aren’t far from bursting either. Getty Images
Meryl StreepMeryl Streep looked ready for a long slumber in this dull, nightie-like dress. It kind of reminds us, in no small way, of the old women from The Far Side comics—remember her? Sweet dreams, Meryl.Getty Images
Sheryl CrowSheryl Crow is trippin’ us out, man! The shape of her knee-length frock is form flattering, sure, and the strappy black cut-out sandals are rock-star cool, too, but that pattern! It makes us feel like we’re shrinking. We’re not shrinking, are we? Oh god. Getty Images
Tara ReidNot even an industrial-strength steamer could save these screaming yellow shorts worn here by Tara Reid. But it’s not just the wrinkles we don’t love (intentional or not); the boxy nature of the top doesn’t pair with the similarly shaped high-waisted shorts. Getty Images