Generally speaking, winning at relationships equals winning at life (for the most part). Relationships form the crux of our quality of life. Relationship expert Natasha Sharma shares some tips for upping your social game in 2019.
Distinguish between being alone and being lonely
They’re not the same thing. Older people and seniors (along with teenagers) report the highest feelings of loneliness, according to one of the largest research studies on the topic conducted just last year by the BBC. As we age, our relationships become the single most predictive factor (outside of health) of our happiness. Embrace the beauty of being alone with yourself (at times). It’s a beautiful thing to learn to enjoy the company of you! It also makes it easier to take a chance and reach out to people. Invite. Suggest plans. The worst thing that can happen is they say no. Don’t take it personally – just move on to the next interesting person you meet.
There’s no such thing as “The One.”
It is entirely possible (and completely healthy) to want to find a partner to share life with at any adult age – no matter what your past entails. It’s also never too late to find someone to share the journey of life with. Sharing experiences with something in a meaningful and deep relationship is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Never deny yourself the right to see that out for yourself.
Get back to IRL
The reality is clear: Face to face communication and shared experiences trump “digital” ones almost every time. A simple hug or a long laugh at a funny movie scene together can go so much further in connecting than pages of text. People are growing tired of less meaningful interactions, and moving back toward more “old-school” ways of meeting, dating, and relating.
Moving to a new city is tough, and it’s tougher to make friendships as we get older. The best way to attract others to you is to get busy living and loving your life… your way. Others are naturally drawn to strong, confident people who have a positive attitude towards themselves. Give it time… expect to be on your own a lot at first, and eventually, you will find people.
Make Yourself the priority
Many people care too much about what other people think of them. They even negatively speculate beyond reason, and this makes them highly anxious and distressed in social situations. This is a huge issue for many clients that I see. Picture your life as a company, in which you own 51 per cent of the shares. The other 49 per cent are held by only the most important people in your life: Parents, children, spouses/partners, friends, bosses, teachers. These people get a ‘vote’ in your life – meaning, you’ll consider their opinions about you seriously, and you have an interest in their approval of you. BUT… you still have the final decision about yourself. Stop worrying (or caring) so much about what anyone else outside of You Inc. thinks about you. It really just doesn’t matter.