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No matter what your age, Friday nights are special. But how they play out depends a lot on how you play. And how you play depends on how played out you are. If you’re reading this as a 20-something, you might think you’ll always be as energetic as you are now. But 30-something readers are all like, “Ha, ha, ha…pass the remote.” But don’t be sad for your future selves, young ones. Friday nights are different when you hit your fourth decade, but they’re not worse. Here’s how it breaks down, hour by hour:

Friday night, 6pm

In your 20s:

Prep dinner. Party bound? Fix a quick salad, since you know there will be lots of good snacks when you arrive. Hitting the bar? Prep yourself a garlic-free carbohydrate bonanza so you so you can attain maximum alcohol absorption with minimal breath alteration. After all, you never know who you might meet tonight.

In your 30s:

Scan the fridge for healthy-ish fixings before realizing – hells yeah! – that it’s Friday and you can go ahead and order pizza instead. Heap it with your favourite stinky toppings, because whether it’s your kids, your partner or yourself, you know exactly who you’re ending up with tonight.
Tina Fey, This Pizza Is The Best

Friday night, 7pm

In your 20s:

Shower, do hair and makeup, polish nails.
ShowerHairMakeup20s

In your 30s: Consider taking a bath, complete with deep conditioning treatment and exfoliating scrub. If you’re a parent, laugh off the thought and decide to let the kids skip their showers tonight, because who wants to argue on Friday? Fondly eye your beauty products and remind yourself to schedule a weekend away for your semi-annual pedicure.

Friday night, 8pm

In your 20s:

Start getting dressed, but there are so many choices. Skirt or jeans? Cute sneakers or sexy heels? Do you want to look hip, chic, twee, or hardest of all – effortless?
GettingReady20s

In your 30s: Rejoice because it’s pajama time! Will it be the fleece penguins or the fleece bears? But then again, sweatpants! Life is good.

Friday night, 9pm

In your 20s:
Pre-drinking! Consider the options – beer vs. liquor vs. wine – and their consequences – bloating vs. getting drunk too fast vs. stained teeth. Know that it doesn’t really matter, because by the end of the night you will have chosen all three anyway.
ZooeyDeschanelISpent$6

In your 30s:
With your favourite drink already in hand, consider the options: Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones or a board game? Choose your Top 2, because there’s no way you can make it to the end of a night with all three.

Friday night, 10pm

In your 20s:
Arrive at your destination. Drink! Dance! Flirt!

In your 30s:
Pause the show to pee again, and briefly yearn for the pelvic floor muscles of your youth. Return to the living room for a lively debate with partner/friends/kids (Crap! They’re still awake?) Tell everyone that you’re a Stark, while secretly believing you’re actually a pretty Targaryen.
GameofThronesinYour30s

Friday night, 11pm

In your 20s:
Think to yourself, “Sweet, the party’s just getting started.” Fist bumps all around.

In your 30s:
Think to yourself, “Holy crap, I’m still awake!” High fives all around.

Friday night, 12pm

In your 20s:
Internal monologue: “Partypartypartyparty!”

In your 30s:
Internal monologue: “How are these old Trivial Pursuit sets still so hard? That’s it, we’re buying the 90s version!”
TrivialPursuit

Friday night, 1am

In your 20s:
Have an intimate heart-to-heart with your BFF since forever, or the BFF you just met. Laugh. Cry. Order another round of shots.
GirlsLateNightBFFs

In your 30s:
Snuggle into bed with someone you love: your kid, your pet, your partner or yourself. Or all four.

Friday night, 2am

In your 20s:
You need pizza, poutine and burritos, stat!
Poutine

In your 30s:
Briefly awake due to pizza-induced acid reflux before returning to that sexy dreamland where Matthew Crawley and Dario Naharis somehow coexist.

Friday night, 3am

In your 20s:
Check purse for cab fare, realize you spent it all on shots and poutine and catch the late night bus home. Witness countless scenes that remind you why it’s called the vomit comet.

In your 30s:
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Friday night, 4am

In your 20s:
Finally arrive home. Fall asleep in a pile of makeup and heels and good memories.
KristenWiigAsleep
In your 30s:
Wake up to pee. Since you’re up, you may as well toss in a load of laundry so it’s ready for the dryer in the morning…and so you have fresh sweatpants for tomorrow night.

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