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Brothel advertises for full-time prostitute ‘tester’
We’ve found the holy grail of career choices, folks. A German brothel is seeking someone to rate sex workers for quality, cleanliness and safe sex. And yes, the job involves getting down and dirty with many, many prostitutes. Advertising on the sex website KaufMich.com (‘Buy Me’), the position calls for someone with “practical experience with many years of brothel visits” and someone who is not “afraid of contact.” You’ll also need a university degree (preferably business) and a health certificate to show you’re disease free.

Testing

Lack of orange juice leads Louisiana man to shoot son in buttocks
This is what happens when people don’t get their daily recommended dose of vitamin C. A Louisiana man is in custody after allegedly shooting his 18-year-old son during a fight about orange juice. The incident began after the father and son began arguing about the lack of the drink in their home, but it quickly escalated after the son broke a porcelain vase. Then, like father like son, ol’ pop took things up another notch by allegedly grabbing a gun. The son was taken to hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Intoxicated Man Arrived by Taxi to Rob Florida Bank
You’d have to be drunk to think this was a good plan. Police say 47-year-old Stanley Geddie demanded $100,000 from a bank manager in Florida, claiming he was armed with a handgun and explosives. But it turns out Geddie wasn’t just allegedly robbing the bank, he didn’t even pay his $25.50 fare for the cab that drove him over. Officers found Geddie inside the bank manager’s office looking “very intoxicated and spaced out”, and soon had to Taser him when he wouldn’t listen to their commands. Geddie was charged with robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer.

Taxi

Accused Bank Robber Says Virgin Mary Told Him To Eat His Feces. And He Did. In Court.
As the author of this article wrote, “Holy sh*t”. California man Andrew Gilbertson pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity after allegedly robbing a bank in 2013. Police say that during the robbery, Gilbertson had disguised himself by wearing a hat and a pink child’s backpack—a disguise he credited to a suggestion from the Virgin Mary. Now in court, and again apparently under the guidance of Jesus’ virgin mother, Gilbertson reached into his pants, removed his own waste and began eating it. The judge called for a recess, and the trial is still ongoing.

Drunk woman strips on plane, performs sex act
Why do people feel the need to do the craziest things on planes? A woman on a British Airways flight from Jamaica is accused of stripping down in front of the other passengers before performing a solo sex act. While the airline wouldn’t confirm many of the details, they did mention that the flight was met by police.

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