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Since it was announced in March that Sarah Drew and Jessica Capshaw would be leaving Grey’s Anatomy (Thursdays at 7 p.m. ET on CTV), fans have been dreading the end of Season 14. While it’s been looking like Capshaw’s Arizona would be moving to New York with her daughter Sophia to be closer to Callie, there was no indication of how Drew’s April would exit the show. On Grey’s Anatomy, no clear cut exit strategy often means death, which is almost what we saw on Thursday’s episode. Almost.

By the end of the episode, those of us who could still see through our puffy eyes witnessed a still-living April laying in a hospital bed The Notebook-style with her still-living boyfriend Matthew. But since we know that April has to exit the show in next week’s finale, we’re not totally convinced she’s alive.

Early in the episode we learned that Matthew Taylor, April’s ex-fiancé, was in a car accident. Before losing consciousness, he mumbled something about April, prompting Owen to return to the crash site, where he found April unconscious in a ravine. Nice to see that he’s putting his military skills to use since no one else had bothered looking for a passenger.

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Rushing April back to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital in an ambulance, the team were waiting to treat one of their own, with April essentially presumed dead by everyone. This leads us into one of the most emotionally intense episodes in Grey’s history. If you’re a crier, this episode was for you.

Before we even knew that April was in trouble, we clocked our first tears at less than five minutes into the episode. In our defense, Arizona giving her notice to Miranda and Miranda responding by saying “It’s been one of the great privileges of my life to know you,” is cry bait. We had no chance. Arizona left before she erupted into a full cry, but we can’t look away.

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Then it was time to bring April’s almost dead body into the hospital. By the second commercial break, Meredith had broken down in tears while asking Alex for help. Meredith. In tears. Dark and Twisty, MD, was crying. As if we were making it through that scene with dry cheeks!

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At this point, just about every doctor in the hospital, except for Jackson, was working on April. Intern Schmidt continued to question why they were working on a dead person and really, that dude needs to be fired. Once it seemed like there was no more they could do for her, Owen instructed everyone to pray. Actually, he said, “I don’t care how you do it, but April would want us to pray for her.” WHERE MAH TISSUES AT?

Then there was the moment that Jackson begged Maggie to stop shocking April and he had to be pulled off her body by Meredith. Our tissues had to be pulled off our eyeballs to actually watch the scene.

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Once April was placed in a recovery room, things didn’t look any better, with Amelia confirming there was no brain activity. We didn’t think it could get worse, but that was before Arizona revealed that Matthew and April weren’t just doing volunteer work together, they were in love. That checks out, with April telling Miranda during the ‘weed cookie’ episode that she was happily seeing someone. After the death of April’s child and the death of Matthew’s wife, the two had found themselves in love more than ever and OMG are they really killing April and leaving Matthew alone again?! No Grey’s, you’ve gone too far.

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The dry-heave-crying continued, with Meredith telling Alex that she thought she had been robbed but realized now that all the years she got with Derek and the kids were bonus. It’s nice that Derek was brought up as a reminder that Grey’s Anatomy can and will kill major characters, as if we had forgotten. Thanks Grey’s, but no reminders necessary.

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The hallway crying continued, with Ben rushing in to check on his friend, whose baby he delivered on a kitchen table in the middle of a storm. Ben’s appearance is also a reminder that April has been through ENOUGH already!

Finally, there was Jackson pleading with God that he’ll do anything if April lives. We can’t. We’re officially out of tears. There are no tears left.

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Kidding, there’s more tears! April magically wakes up after, let’s be honest, she was pretty much dead. She seems…fine. Too fine. Everyone says their goodnights and then leaves the room, with April telling Owen “You always come and bring me back.” Remember when April failed her boards and Owen found her on the farm and brought her back to the hospital to be a doctor? Oh damn. We weren’t done crying at all.

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So, the episode ends with Arizona having a new plan for moving to New York thanks to the return of Geena Davis as Dr. Herman, with the two women plotting the future of maternity ward carts. But April? What about April?

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Next week’s season finale has to feature her exit, but how? It doesn’t seem plausible that she would leave Harriet and it also doesn’t make sense for Jackson to be okay with April leaving Seattle with Harriet. To truly mess with viewers, there’s still a big ol’ chance that everything that happened after April woke up was a dream and the finale could pull a switcheroo, with people gathering for Alex and Jo’s wedding, but in reality they’re actually gathering for April’s funeral. Stay hydrated, Grey’s Anatomy fans. We have a feeling there are many more tears to come.

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Watch the Season 14 finale of Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday at 7 p.m. ET on CTV.