Gwyneth Paltrow is not your everyday woman. (She does kooky things, like lets bees sting her body for fun, and gets offended by certain foods, like dill and spray cheese. It’s these quirks that makes us love Gwyny!)
And her site, Goop is not your everyday site.
So, it goes without saying that the author/actress/lifestyle guru’s latest post to Goop, about sex toys, is far from everyday. As to be expected, most of the x-rated items come with hefty price tags.
We mean, who wouldn’t want to add a shiny, 24-karat gold dildo, with a $15,000 value (we use the term ‘value’ lightly), to their night stand. This is the kind of sex toy you’d want to put on display in your home, like an art sculpture, in order to impress dinner guests. We can just imagine the conversations that would ensue.
There’s also a $535 black leather whip (we’re not certain what warrants this mega price tag—does the whip also come with diamonds? It must come with diamonds.); a $400 vibrating nipple clamp necklace, that looks harmless until you discover its hidden talents; and a $156 G-spot vibrator that comes with a downloadable app.
This has got us wondering: is Gwyn’s sex life on the rocks? Is this her looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom? Or is it really just a shameless plug for Goop’s online retail store? Our Spidey senses are tingling on the latter—you can buy a bunch of the items on the list right on the site.
Regardless, we’re willing to take some of these suggestions to heart. We’ll just be cruising Amazon for more affordable options. You know, for us actual everyday folks.