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When someone close to you dies, it’s natural to experience regret. Whether it’s how you said goodbye, or didn’t say “I love you,” it’s almost never how you wanted to leave things. So it’s natural for Prince Harry to wish he could’ve said something different, something meaningful, something more, to his mother, Princess Diana, on the day she died.

Harry and William, aged 12 and 15, respectively, took a break from playing with their cousins at Balmoral when their mother called, and were eager to get back to them. “And if I’d known that that was the last time I was going to speak to my mother, the things that I would — the things I would have said to her,” Harry says in the documentary, Our Mother Diana: Her Life and Legacy, which airs today on ITV in the U.K.

Harry also sat down with two landmine victims, saying, “You guys were the almost the last people to see my mother. Well, you saw my mother more recently than I did, I guess,” revealing that he and his brother hadn’t seen their mom in more than a month before she died.

William spoke about how sad he felt that his mother would never meet his family, saying, “They will never know her.” But Will did add that the memory of “Granny Diana” remains strong in the Cambridge household.

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Getty Images

“We’ve got more photos up round the house now of her and we talk about her a bit and stuff,” he said. “It’s hard because obviously Catherine didn’t know her, so she cannot really provide that — that level of detail. So, I do [when] regularly putting George or Charlotte to bed, talk about her and just try and remind them that there are two grandmothers, there were two grandmothers in their lives, and so it’s important that they know who she was and that she existed.”

William added that he also felt like his mom was present during his wedding to Kate, giving him strength and support.

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Getty Images

William did joke that Diana would be “a nightmare grandmother, absolute nightmare. She’d love the children to bits, but she’d be an absolute nightmare. She’d come and go and she’d come in probably at bath time, cause an amazing amount of scene, bubbles everywhere, bathwater all over the place and — and then leave.”

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Getty Images

Will wants to be as hands-on with his kids as Diana was with him and Harry, saying, “I want to make as much time and effort with Charlotte and George as I can because I realize that these early years particularly are crucial for children, and having seen, you know, what she did for us.”

Sadly, Harry revealed that he’s held on to a lot of feelings since his mother’s death, explaining that he’s only cried tears of grief at her graveside at Althorp on September 6, 1997, and since then, “maybe once,” acknowledging that “there’s a lot of grief that still needs to be let out.”

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Getty Images

The special marks the 20th anniversary of Diana’s death in a Paris car crash on August 31, 1997. The brothers get really personal, but also vowed that this is the last time they’ll speak out so openly and publicly about their mother.

Ahead of its broadcast, Harry and William shared photographs from their personal collection and just, wow. Hopefully this is exactly what Will and Harry need, to keep their mom’s legacy and memory strong, but also to heal.