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Mariah Carey is a lot of things — singer, songwriter, diva extraordinaire — but she’s adding one more thing to her already impressive resume: author. The music legend has a new book coming out, an autobiography about her personal and professional lives, and it sounds like it will blow fans’ minds.

The icon was interviewed as part of Variety‘s Power of Women issue, where she dished about her career, feminism, and even dropped a few hints about what to expect from her memoir — including where her love of Christmas comes from. “I always wanted Christmas to be perfect and so special,” Carey says. But her older siblings, with whom she no longer communicates, “would ruin it every single time.” So when she wrote “All I Want For Christmas,” she “turned it into a love song” because she wanted it to be about all the things that make her happy.

Carey also revealed that the book will delve into her “alleged” breakdown. “It was an emotional and physical breakdown, but it wasn’t a nervous breakdown, because you don’t recover from that really,” Carey says. “And even my therapist was like, ‘You didn’t have a breakdown; you had a diva fit and people couldn’t handle it.’ And that is something we should explore, because if a woman gets too emotional or too loud or too abrasive or too real, suddenly it’s like, ‘What’s wrong with her? She’s crazy.'”

Mariah also spoke about the beginning of her career, and the misconception of being “taken care of” by her then-husband, Tommy Mottola. “I made a decision early on that I never wanted to be beholden to a man. I didn’t want to be a kept woman,” she says. “I paid for half of every single bit of that gigantic mansion in Bedford. I paid for the lights, everything down to the water because I said I wanted to do that.”

Carey continued, “When you’re with someone 20-something years older than you, and you’re a female, the perception is always going to be this girl’s being taken care of. No, darling. And they made billions of dollars off my incessant work. I did nothing but make albums.” But that’s just a small taste of the full story to come. “I want to save some for my book,” she says.

Carey also says that fans will get to read about “the debacle that was Glitter,” her 2001 film and soundtrack album of the same name which were widely considered a flop, until her fans pushed it to No. 1 on the iTunes charts late last year (#JusticeforGlitter, baby).

Mariah admitted she needed an extension for her memoir because she wants to be “really, really happy” with the finished product. But she guarantees “2020 for sure, but not early 2020.”

Hmm, anyone else thinking it’s going to be coming out right around Christmas? That is her happy time, after all.