One of the great ironies of being rich and famous is that people and brands want to give you free stuff because you’re rich and famous.
At the Oscars this Sunday, some nominees will go home with a little gold statue and the respect of their peers, but all of them will leave with one of LA-based Distinctive Assets’ swag bags, which are filled with dozens of items with a total value of over six figures.
That’s right, these gift bags, called the Everyone Wins bag, are worth over a hundred thousand dollars and they’re being handed out to some of the wealthiest people in Hollywood (actually, they’re shipped to their homes or hotel rooms the week before the event). Sigh. Such is the circle of wealth. The hope here is that, when the commoners see Star A using Product B, they will be compelled to pull out their wallets and spend X amount of money in order to get one for themselves.
From luxury vacations to vegan small-batch lollipops to diamond necklaces to Mexican sodas, here are some of the most ludicrous items inside the swag bags at this year’s Oscars.
Loads of beauty products
The red carpet is bound to get sweaty, which is why the underarm sweat patches from Dandi Patch will be actually useful for some. There’s also a 24k gold facial, a firming eye cream and golden treatment mask and a LIFETIME SUPPLY of Oxygenetix foundation. Just wow.
Several ridiculous wellness and beauty experiences
For those famous folks with a fear of snakes or flying or whatever, the 18-minute phobia-relief session might be of use. There’s also a gum rejuvenation dental procedure (oh, celebrities), and a genetic testing package through 23andMe, in addition to some fitness classes, like 10 sessions with personal trainer Alexis Seletzky.
A full-on diamond necklace
Most people will only be gifted diamonds by their loved ones, not PR companies. Luxura Diamonds kicked in one of their “conflict-free” necklaces to the Everyone Wins bags, while Liwu Jewelry included some of their celtic gifts.
Various luxury travel
Some of the best items, like first-class getaways, didn’t actually fit in the bag. Included in this year’s haul: a 12-night Tanzania vacation, a seven-day Hawaii trip, a stay at Avaton Luxury Villas Resort in Greece and a week at a Californian spa.
There were also plenty of gourmet goodies in the bag, with edible jewelry from Chocolatines, lemonade-flavored moonshine from Southern Wicked Lemonade (who’s going to bring a flask into the awards filled with this?), not one, but two gourmet pretzel gift boxes from Posh Pretzels, and some herbal detox tea.
Numerous oddball items that’ll end up in the re-gift pile come December
The gift bags also include a smattering of weird, like a lightweight pepper spray called Pepperface, a pre-launch membership to the new dating app NeverMissed, soy candles, a lunchbox and an on-the-go hydration sleeve.
Good luck to all the nominated stars this weekend! Either way, everyone in attendance wins with this loot. Don’t worry about the rest of us, we’ll be watching along, eating dollar store popcorn.