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News moves fast in Trumpland, but this week feels like there were at least three breaking news stories a day, each overshadowing the next almost instantly. With the scandals developing this fast, it’s easy to miss things. Let’s take a look back at the past week and all the messes that the White House has been making/spinning/trying to get rid of.

There’s no plan for Syria and Nikki Haley doesn’t get confused

Before we get to porn stars and book tours, you might have forgotten that at the beginning of the week, we were still talking about last Friday when the U.S. launched a missile attack on Syria for Bashar al-Assad’s use of chemical weapons on his own citizens. While a lot of people – including the U.K., France and Canada — actually support the action, Trump caught heat for it because he ordered it without going through the proper channels, i.e. congress.

Why does this matter? Because it means he didn’t have to actually create a plan for dealing with Syria and Russia and get it approved by lawmakers. Now they’re in this weird limbo where everyone, including Trump’s own people, are unsure where to go from here. In a matter of two days, the government sent two completely opposite messages. U.S. ambassador to the U.N. Nikki Haley said Sunday that harsh sanctions would be announced against Russia in the coming days. Then on Monday, National Economic Council Director Larry Kudlow said that Haley “got ahead of the curve” and must have been “confused.” That prompted an instantly iconic line from Haley who said in a statement, “With all due respect, I don’t get confused.”

Trump isn’t handling this book tour well

Fired FBI director James Comey’s tell-all book A Higher Loyalty was released on Tuesday and he’s been on a whirlwind book tour for the past week promoting it and answering (some of) the questions we’ve been wondering since his public hearing last June. Did the golden showers thing happen? Maybe. Does he regret reopening the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails right before the election? Not really. What’s the most surprising thing on his book shelf? The Fault in our Stars by John Green.

Comey has hit every major show from cable news to late night and it’s been driving Trump crazy all week. At least once a day, he’s sent off a barrage of tweets calling the former FBI director “slippery,” a “slimeball,” a “leaker,” a “liar,” “not smart” and “out of whack.” Here is a selection for your enjoyment:

Trump’s lawyer got a lawyer

Last week, the FBI conducted a raid on Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen’s home, hotel room and offices. Cohen is the lawyer who admitted to paying porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 in 2016 so she would not disclose an affair she claims she had with Donald Trump. Cohen has been Trump’s “fixer” dating back to when he was just a real estate tycoon and could reportedly have audio recordings and copious documentation of less-than-legal things he did for Trump and other clients. He was in court this week for a judge to determine what of the documents seized during the raid could be used by investigators (including those working on Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation).

One of those documents was a client list with only three names on it: Donald Trump, Elliot Broidy – a top Republican fundraiser for whom Cohen negotiated a $1.6 million deal with a playboy model he got pregnant last year – and a third mystery client. More on that in a second.

Stormy Daniels is apparently a hero now

The adult film actress who is suing the president of the United States just might be everyone’s new hero. Not only did she announce that she’ll donate the $130,000 to Planned Parenthood if she wins her case, she showed up at Cohen’s hearing Monday to watch the whole thing and speak to a crowd outside the courthouse. She told onlookers that she and her lawyer would continue working to expose Cohen and prove he is not “above the law.”

And the mystery client is . . .

Michael Cohen may have wanted to keep that third client a secret, but when a judge tells you to reveal it in front of the court, you kind of have to. It turns out that the mystery client was none other than Fox News pundit, Trump cheerleader, Hillary-hater, conspiracy theory-pusher and harsh Russia investigation critic Sean Hannity. Everyone was shocked, but at the same time, no one was shocked because of course it was Hannity.

Hannity floundered on responding to the issue, saying on his afternoon radio show that he may have given Cohen $10 for casual legal advice – implying he shouldn’t be classified as a client – but also asserting that he would like to invoke attorney-client privilege. On his show that evening, Hannity went with an “I hardly know the guy!” approach. Some of his guests called him out though, one in particular, saying several times that Hannity should have disclosed his relationship with Cohen during segments he did the week before criticising the FBI for conducting the raid in the first place.

The revelation also begs the question: if the work Cohen did for the two other clients on the list was paying off affairs, what did Sean Hannity do? We still don’t know (he claims it was real estate-related), but that news will probably break next week.

All this makes for a pretty uncomfortable trip

You know that awkward feeling you got when you were a kid and your friend’s parents would yell at them while you were over at their house? That’s probably exactly how Prime Minister Shinzo Abe of Japan felt during his visit this week. Trump was hosting Shinzo at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida while all this was going down. The two were expected to play golf, have fancy state dinners and discuss the North Korea issue ahead of Trump’s possible meeting with Kim Jong Un in May or June. The pictures of their time together look pretty carefree, but we can’t imagine how weird it must have been for Shinzo when Trump had to interrupt their time together every five minutes to tweet about his latest scandal.

The memos!

If you can recall all the way back to last June, Comey revealed that he kept memos of his meetings with Trump both before and after he was sworn in as president. These include the time when Trump asked Comey for his loyalty and to go easy on Michael Flynn (who later pleaded guilty in Mueller’s Russia investigation). During his hearing, Comey said that he would make those memos available to the committee, which he did. Thursday, the memos were sent to congress and within hours, they were leaked (possibly by the GOP themselves).

While we didn’t learn a whole lot of new information, the overall tone paints Trump as paranoid, especially when it comes to that infamous dossier. As Comey pointed out in his interview with Jake Tapper Thursday: when you keep asserting you’re innocent in something no one asked you about, you look less innocent. These memos also show that whatever you think of James Comey, the man is incredibly consistent (as you might expect from an FBI director).

Trump’s interpretation of the memos was that they prove there was “NO OBSTRUCTION” and “NO COLLUSION” which just doesn’t make sense.

Well, those are the week’s highlights. In the words of CNN’s Jake Tapper: “Go home, 2018. You’re drunk.”

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