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Katie Holmes and Jamie Foxx have been together for a while, probably longer than her ex-husband, Tom Cruise, would care to acknowledge. The romance rumours surrounding these two began in 2013, a year after Holmes and Cruise split, when photos surfaced of the two of them dancing and looking flirty. We hadn’t seen Katie look that happy in years, so it was lovely to see. Katie and Jamie were also dancing alongside Ellen DeGeneres, Pharrell Williams and Colin Powell, making for the weirdest party posse ever, but we digress.

Katie and Jamie knew each other long before that, though. Jamie and Tom were friends since co-starring in Collateral together in 2004, and because of that friendship and respect Holmes and Foxx kept quiet about their growing feelings. But that was years ago. Surely, they can go public now, right? Nope.

Despite being photographed together a handful of times, Katie and Jamie refuse to make their relationship official for one reason: family.

“They keep it private and protect it for the most part because they don’t want to disrupt either of their families,” a source told Us Weekly. “Jamie rarely has her over at his house and they mostly hang out separately from their kids.”

A couple months back, Us reported that Foxx was at a party where he claimed he was single. But a few weeks ago, the two were spotted walking together in Central Park, which told us that they are doing just fine, thank you very much. In fact, an insider added that Katie and Jamie “see each other more than people would think.” Because they’re basically relationship ninjas.

While Jamie and Katie are doing whatever they have to do to protect their children, we think they might want to give their girls a little credit. Jamie’s daughters (Corinne, 25, and Annalise, 10) and Katie’s girl (Suri, who turns 13 next week) are older and can probably handle the idea of their parents being in love.

But if Foxx and Holmes are still not ready to go THERE, that’s their choice. We get that neither Jamie nor Katie want to disrupt their families and protect them but is there really a need at this point? Us‘ source described Foxx and Holmes as “close friends” who are in “a romantic relationship” and have “great chemistry,” so pretty sure their daughters have picked up on that. In fact, Jamie and Katie were just photographed getting ice cream with Corinne so maybe they’re actually one big happy family and Us‘ insider has it all wrong.

We do understand the two of them wanting to keep their relationship secret — but are their families at the root of that? Meh. Katie and Jamie have had years to have it just be about them, something many celebrities can’t boast. But what they don’t seem to get is that the more they hide it, the more curious we are. The hungrier we are. Since they have been photographed more and more in recent months, we’re just hoping that’s a sign that JamKat are finally loosening up and will soon confirm what we all already know. Or maybe they don’t want to mess with a good thing. Either way, we will continue to root for them and be happy they’re happy.