The holidays are a time for friends and family, right? Well when you, your partner or both of you happen to have divorced parents, there is often a little too much family in that part of that equation. Trying to juggle schedules, visit everyone and eat all of those holiday meals can be a little much for even the best of us at times.
Feeling like you’re alone? Don’t worry, we understand. We’ve got 99 problems (no, not really) only people with divorced parents actually understand:
Four Christmases is your holiday go-to movie. Every. Single. Year.
You have to start planning your holiday schedule weeks in advance so that you can fit everyone in. Only to have it continue changing right up until the day before. As a result, you are insanely jealous of those “merry” fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants types.
Forget one drunk uncle. You have the pleasure of spending the holidays with four of ’em
Your Christmas tree is special because the presents underneath are organized into four distinct piles. Fitting them all into one car is better than winning a game of Tetris.
When people ask you what your holiday plans are, your pulse immediately quickens.
To be honest, you’re never surprised when your grocery-list answer makes people’s eyes glaze over.
In the end you wind up having to scarf down a Christmas breakfast, lunch and two or more Christmas “dinners” just to make everyone happy.
Or else risk hosting the world’s biggest food fight when you invite both sets of parents to dinner.
Even without kids your Christmas morning has to start at an ungodly hour just to fit everything in.
You can never relax with a couple of Christmas cocktails because you always have to drive to the next location. No matter how much pressure you get to just have some of that nog.
While finding time in between to get that potluck item you’re bringing freshened up for the next destination.
Your father-in-law is no help at all when you’re trying to decide what to get his new girlfriend …
Especially when you find out she’s younger than you.
And forget finding an appropriate gift for mom’s new boyfriend, who has a special way with words…
Dinner itself is always an awkward affair, especially when “the exes” get brought up.
By the time you make it home you’re so exhausted, all you want to do is lay in bed and watch Mrs. Doubtfire. Because she gets it.
And you swear to yourself that next year you’re spending Christmas on the beach.
But at the end of the day, you know you won’t. Because having so many parents and places to be makes you a well-rounded individual.
Who knows how to mediate better than any professional out there.
And appreciate the Christmas miracle that is the fact you were able to survive another holiday season.