We all have our own little bubbles that, for the most part, we’re more than happy to inhabit. Sometimes it’s just us and our cat, more often than not it’s our families and besties making up our little world. And that’s just how we like it.
So, when it’s time to deal with interlopers – outsiders who try to come crashing in – things can get a little dicey. How does one navigate the intricacies of polite society? We can think of none better than Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer to guide us through those challenging times.
The problem is, where are they when we need them? Where, we ask you! Where?!
Well, we’ve got good news: Bell Media recently announced that it has secured the exclusive Canadian rights to all 180 episodes of Seinfeld for its forthcoming on-demand streaming service, code-named “Project Latte.” Every. Single. One. Soon a world of wisdom – dating advice, witty comebacks, amazing dance moves – will all be but a couple of taps away. In the meantime, we’ve got you covered.
The dating pool is getting smaller and smaller. Don’t mess around if you think you may have found The One. Chances are, they are it.
If someone insults you, don’t just sit back and take it. Come up with a witty comeback — even if it only makes sense to you.
Unless it’s a sporting event, a high-five is almost never necessary. Enough, people.
It’s okay to display your talents. Don’t think of it as showing off; rather, it’s sharing your gifts with the world.
Never, ever tell anyone what you plan to name your first-born (or any of your future kids, for that matter). Because some conniving person with no imagination who is actually about to have a baby might steal the moniker right out from under your nose and you will just have to suck it up and let them.
Guys, don’t hit girls. Your mama raised you better than that.
Ladies, same goes for you. Be nice to boys, K?
But sometimes, a threat — idle or not — can be equally effective.
Sometimes you have to stop a friend from doing something rash, even if it means taking the brunt of their anger.
Sometimes you have to yell and scream. No matter how crazy it’ll make you sound, it’s the best way to relieve any sort of stress anyone or anything has caused.
Try to be politically correct. Try.
Don’t care what anyone says. Short, tall, big, small, hairy, bald — embrace you. No one’s opinion matters but your own.
People can be stingy dirtbags. As long as you’re aware, you won’t ever be caught off guard.
That being said, karma is a b*tch.
Beware: Sometimes even the most unexpected people give up on underwear of any kind and the only thing between them and you is a thin layer of gaberdine.
Some women have no idea that men experience shrinkage. Really.
And some men have no idea that women don’t always have orgasms. Silly wabbits.
No one should wear pants this tight. Ever. You’ll be a laughingstock.
An epic photobomb is loved by all and makes everything okay.
Don’t gloat. It’s unbecoming.
Sometimes people will hurt us. It’s okay to cry.
Sometimes, it’s okay to bet on a wild card. You just might win every now and again.
The actions of others can be confounding.
When all else fails, dance like nobody’s watching.
And if someone is watching, so what? They might join you.