We’re now eight episodes into the final season of Pretty Little Liars and some truths are becoming as glaringly evident as Hanna’s split ends.
There are of course the basic truths that we’ve known for the past seven seasons, including suspect everyone, date no more than two characters in a season and whatever you do, if you’re going somewhere dangerous at night, make sure you go alone and tell no one. This one is a biggie.
Tonight’s episode did show some learning on behalf of the Liars. Alison, who’s broke, makes the shocking decision to
sell her eggs move in with her stalker Lucas go back to work. Get that money, girl.
Aria apologizes to Ezra for deleting Nicole’s call and splurges on a ticket to Colombia, which is totally the grown up move, even though it again reiterates the truth that no one gets to be happy in Rosewood.
Spencer also uses the line “Curb the perv or the bottle walks.” That part was just plain awesome.
But for all its steps forward, we still can’t wrap our heads around some totally illogical plot developments from tonight’s episode.
Hanna is obviously troubled, just as anyone would be after being kidnapped, but no one seems overly concerned about their friend or at least concerned enough to do anything. Let’s not forget, these women were also kidnapped and know how much it can mess a person up. What does a person have to do in Rosewood to get an intervention?
Caleb’s kinda worried too, but we’re pretty sure he’s just concerned that dropping Spencer for Hanna wasn’t as safe as he thought it was. So now Hanna’s run off to hire a hitman and tape up windows with newspapers. Honestly, we wouldn’t be surprised if this ends as badly as Mrs. Grunwald’s impression of Eleven.
Next is Dr. Cochrane, the young version, who has her office trashed and magically gets Spencer’s number, calling her instead of the police. We know why the Liars don’t call the police (we kinda know, although that reasoning is wearing thin), but why wouldn’t a stranger have the normal response of calling the cops? Um, what?
Then there’s the return of Paige, who let’s not forget once tried to drown Emily. Kids in love!
Paige has decided to rise from the ashes of Paily and return to Rosewood because her parents live there. Nope, they moved to California with her years ago. Okay, because she can’t get a job anywhere else? Nope, she has offers from colleges everywhere. Because she just has to teach at Rosewood? Come. On. She either wants Emily back or has been the person tormenting the Liars for the past few months and if Emily can’t see either of those, then she shouldn’t be coaching children. Naive Emily is actually getting worse as she gets older, which is making her lack of character development almost impossible to stomach.
To round it all out, we have Emily worried that Alison wouldn’t want her bestie working with her (no sense), the Principal calling Alison out of class to talk to her then instead of waiting for a lunch break (huh?) and finally, Aria finding the time to buy a wedding gown. Everyone knows they take four to six months to order in.
What’s most frustrating about the story holes and the plot-be-damned urgency to bring back past characters is that with a limited number of PLL episodes left, this should be the season that has learned from past years and is producing tight scripts. Instead, we’re left with a big piece of Swiss cheese.
Season 7 of Pretty Little Liars airs Tuesdays at 8E/5P on its new home on Bravo!