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Actor Eva Mendes began a hiatus from Hollywood five years ago, with the notoriously private celebrity stepping away from the spotlight to raise her daughters Esmeralda and Amada with partner Ryan Gosling. While Gosling has continued working, earning a Golden Globe for his role in La La Land in 2017 and a Globe nomination for First Man earlier this year, Mendes has taken a break from film sets and from interviews. Sitting down with Women’s Health this month, Mendes gave a glimpse into her homelife with Gosling and why she decided to have children with her Place Beyond The Pines co-star. “Ryan Gosling happened.” That works for us.

“I mean, falling in love with him,” said Mendes, referencing the ‘what’ in ‘what happened to make her want kids.’ “Then it made sense for me to have…not kids, but his kids. It was very specific to him.”

Hey girl, we get it.

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Mendes credits the couple’s extended family with helping to raise their daughters, with Mendes and Gosling managing to keep the girls out of the limelight thanks to daily elaborate planning to avoid the paparazzi at parks and grocery stores. “We have an amazing support group: Ryan’s mom, my mom, Ryan’s and my sisters. It’s a village that helped us,” says Mendes. “My heart goes out to women who do this alone. I basically come from a single-parent household; although I love my dad, my mom mostly raised four of us on her own.”

With two children under five at home, Mendes says “We’re just starting to get out of survival mode. I’m starting to feel like a person again.” Feeling like a person means putting aside time to focus on yourself, with Mendes saying that she has returned to the gym but hates working out. We thought wanting to have kids with Ryan Gosling was the most relatable part of this interview, but her hatred of the gym speaks to us as well.

“I’m envious of women who enjoy working out, because I have the worst attitude about it,” says Mendes. “My vanity gets me to the gym—and obviously health reasons—but I’m kicking and screaming the whole way through.” Same, girl.

Mendes also touches on the beautiful moment at the 2017 Golden Globes when Gosling accepted the award for Best Actor and thanked his ‘lady’ for staying home to raise their children so he could ‘sing and dance.’ Gosling ended his speech with a tribute to Mendes’ brother Juan Carlos Mendez, who lost his battle with cancer just a few days before Eva gave birth to their second daughter. Mendes revealed that she wasn’t even watching the Globes when Ryan won, saying that her sister had to call her from another room.

“It was like a dream,” says Eva. “But really, what I heard was that he said my brother’s name. It was the most beautiful gesture, and I had no idea Ryan was going to say it. Losing my brother was incredibly difficult.”

Yup. That’s the kinda guy you want as your partner in parenthood.

Golden Globes