Tonight’s Pretty Little Liars came in with a body and went out with a bang, which is just how we like our murder mysteries to go.
It was a dark episode and we don’t just mean Ezra’s panicked fear over picking colours for a wedding.
First there was Sara Harvey’s dead body being wheeled out of Radley, then we moved on to Toby’s fiance Yvonne being attacked in their trailer, and finally we concluded with the knowledge that Jessica DiLaurentis subjected her sister Mary to electro-shock therapy. Not that the last point was surprising. The woman did bury her daughter alive.
What really stole the show tonight wasn’t the Liars searching an empty and remote home at night (Ali, you own Aunt Carol’s house, why would you search it at night?) or Spencer trying to make friendship necklaces work. It was how bad everyone in Rosewood is at being an ex.
In a town with a dating pool about 10 people deep, it’s important to be either a good or absent ex. Tonight, we had neither. Here are Spencer, Hanna and Emily, searching for a clue on how to be an ex. Spoiler, they don’t find one.
First, there was Spencer insisting to Hanna that she couldn’t leave the hospital, because she told Toby she would stay and support him while Yvonne was being treated after she was brutally attacked. In what world would Toby’s fiance Yvonne want his ex-girlfriend sticking around the hospital? No world, that’s which one.
Yvonne has already put up with Toby skipping out on her to break into Radley with Spencer, then attending Spencer’s mom’s victory party, the same mom who had just defeated Yvonne’s father to become a Senator. Now Yvonne has to put up with Spencer hanging out while she tries to rock a hospital gown? No thanks.
On the flip side, it’s not like Toby is fun to be exes with either. Spencer urged Toby and Yvonne to leave Rosewood, because duh, why are any of them still there? Toby decides to take Spencer’s advice, but before he and Yvonne hit the open road with their RV, he stops by Spencer’s place to tell her he was initially building a house for Spencer, but he decided he can’t live without Yvonne. That falls under ‘Unnecessary and Hurtful Information.’ Maybe it was payback for Spencer dating his buddy Caleb. Or maybe Toby is more of a jerk than we ever realized.
Bye Toby. You really haven’t had an interesting storyline since the hood.
Next there was Jesus DiLaurentis. Sorry, Jason. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Ali’s older brother and it looks like it’s been a while since he’s seen a pair of scissors. We’re kinda digging the look.
Tonight’s episode revealed that Jason and Aria had a ‘thing’, which makes sense since they were pretty flirty in previous seasons. Their time together seems to have been shortly before Liam, but after Jason was in Ethiopia helping children. Is it required for every character on this show to do volunteer work? About five seconds after Aria informs Jason that she and Ezra are engaged, he asks her to help him with Alison. That shouldn’t compromise her relationship with Ezra at all.
If only there was someone else Jason could go to for help. Someone that he was close to. Someone like a sister. Someone like Spencer, his actual sister.
If Jason and his luscious locks don’t derail Ezra’s plan to elope to a vineyard (sometimes Ezra’s bachelor apartment makes us forget he’s totally loaded), then news of Ezra’s dead ex-girlfriend Nicole possibly coming back to life should finish off the honeymoon. Total lame ex move.
Don’t even get us started with these two.