Singlehood can be a blessing or a curse, depending on both your viewpoint and whether you were the dumper or the dumpee. But whether it was your choice to end things or not, determining how to navigating newfound singlehood is no easy feat.
That being the case, in your best interest and ours, we spoke with Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type and That’s A Good Thing, to get her top tips on how to be better at being single.
- Have a love affair with yourself: The best thing you can do for your love life is to love your life. You’re more likely to attract a good match when you’re feeling aligned with what and who you care about. How do you go about doing that? Take part in activities that you enjoy. This is double pronged, because by doing activities you enjoy, you end up meeting like-minded people.
- Forget the rules: There’s no right or wrong time to be single and no right or wrong when it comes to what to do once we are. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves like ‘What will people think if I date too soon after a break up?’ Or we worry about being the only single one in our group of friends. Follow wants and not shoulds. If you want to put yourself out there again, do it. If you don’t, don’t. But the only one doing the judging otherwise, is yourself. Let go of that. Set your own path and trust your instincts.
- Set your standards high and don’t compromise: There’s always a shmuck to date. It’s good to have standards and not follow others’ expectations of you just to fill a void or to have a date for a function. Know your worth and don’t settle for someone just to pass the time, or because you’d rather have bad company than no company.
- Take inventory: Being single has a lot of wonderful perks. Take inventory of the freedom that comes with your newfound time and not having to check in with another.
- Focus on the relationships that bring you up: Whether they’re friendships or family bonds, surround yourself with healthy, loving relationships. This is also the perfect time to get rid of toxic people, people that bring you down. By celebrating friends and people that bring you up , you’ll feel less alone because you’ll have these strong connections and bonds that make you feel like your best self.
When a relationship comes to an unexpected end, we often feel lost, because when we stop being half of a partnership we can quite literally lose a sense of our identity (Brangelina anyone?). But by constantly complaining about it or hanging out with toxic people, we only dive deeper down the rabbit hole of losing ourselves. By following Syrtash’s tips, even starting with just one, you’ll notice that being single isn’t all that bad. In fact, we have a funny feeling that by following through you’ll feel stronger and more independent and ready for a more authentic and beneficial relationship with both yourself, and, down the road,with someone else — if that’s what your heart desires.