How to not lose your cool with your kids

For many Canadians, they've been cooped up with their family for some time now due to the global pandemic. That can sometimes be a recipe for conflict - but author of Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool, Shantelle Bisson, has some strategies to help. A raw and humorous account of parenting, Bisson had no idea her book would be released during the pandemic, and how perfect that timing was. She broke down some key tips to help soothe tensions in the household, found below - plus, watch the video above for more from Shantelle!

IDENTIFY YOUR CURRENT TRIGGERS

Sometimes triggers in your own personal life (whether it's financial stress, exhaustion, etc.) can play a part in you losing your cool on your kids. It's important to identify what your triggers are/ what triggers you to help separate the two things. It is so important to make sure that you're not dumping adult issues onto your kids, especially during unprecedented difficult times, such as what we're currently living through. Our kids don't know how to process adult emotions or stressors so we need to be mindful of our words and actions.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES

Not everything needs to be a battle, especially while we're all under foot of each other during quarantine. With us being together 24/7 we need to remember to take stock throughout the day when we're feeling like we're starting to "lose our cool" and ask ourselves: "is this a ME thing or a THEM issue?"  Once you identify that you can decide if it is "battle worthy" or not. And then let it go if it's not.[video_embed id='1962556']RELATED: Do you enjoy playing with your kids?[/video_embed]

COMMUNICATE WITH CHILD AND PARTNER

This is the most essential part of your relationship with your child. Communicate with them. When you're upset, tell them about it, explain to them what it is that they did that upset you, and what about their behaviour you'd like to see them do differently. Also, communicate with your partner. Tell them what you need from them and when you're feeling overwhelmed, especially during this time while we're all stuck at home. It's important to check in with yourself and let your partner know where you're at.

TAKE A STEP BACK

Put yourself in your child's shoes. They may be smaller shoes to fill than yours, but it's important to view things from a different perspective. Our kids don't have the emotional experience or maturity to express themselves in clear and concise ways. If we're having our own difficulties processing life at the moment, imagine how much more difficult of a time they may be having trying to express themselves. Be patient, kinder than usual, and super clear. Stop and ask yourself: How are they interpreting what you're saying? Do they understand why you're frustrated?

GIVE YOUR CHILD SPACE

It's important to remember to give kids their own space as well (of course, pending the age). Kids need the time to develop decision-making skills and to think for themselves and be resourceful; and incredible creativity comes out of alone bored times for us all.  So let them have the space they need throughout each day.[video_embed id='1958575']BEFORE YOU GO: These boredom-busting toys will keep your kids busy all summer long[/video_embed]