You might know your partner’s love language but do you know their sex language?
Similar to having a love language, we all have a sex language – also known as an erotic blueprint. The Social’s very own sex and relationship expert, Cynthia Loyst, explains what an erotic blueprint is and how you can figure out yours.
What is an erotic blueprint?
An erotic blueprint is basically a road map to figure out what kind of a person you are, erotically speaking. The idea was created by a sexologist in the United States named Jaiya Kinzbach. After studying sex for years, she met a man she really liked but feared they were sexually incompatible. She assumed that because he was a man, he just wanted his genitals stimulated, but as they started talking they realized he needed anticipation and mystery in order to get in the mood. After unlocking their erotic languages, they began having amazing sex, so she created this system to help people better understand themselves and their lovers.
Discovering your erotic blueprint
You might be able to already guess which type you are just from the names. For instance, if you are a sensual, you might be turned on by all of your senses being engaged. Take this quiz to figure out your type.
The five blueprint types
- This type is aroused by anticipation, space and tease. They prefer light or hovering touch, eye contact and an emotional connection. They are very sensitive and need time to assimilate sexual touch; too much too fast is a turn-off.
- This type is aroused by having all of their senses engaged. Having a clean or un-chaotic mind and environment is very important to them. They require comfort, ambiance, romance and sensory play. Their biggest turn-off is being stuck in their head.
- This type is aroused by straightforward sex, nudity, orgasms, penetration and direct genital contact. Sex is fun for them and it is used to relax. They can get stuck in a limited view of sexuality and can be goal-oriented.
- This type is aroused by power dynamics, anything that feels taboo to them, creativity or fantasy in sexual play and pushing edges. They often have deep shame about their taboo desires.
- This type is aroused by everything above and needs variety. They are endlessly creative, but need a partner who is also equally as adventurous. Sometimes they shift to be what others want them to be instead of owning their own sexuality.
While most couples don’t have the same primary blueprint, it doesn’t mean you are not sexually compatible. It just means that you both need to learn to speak the other partner’s erotic language and feed into their deepest desires. Like a jigsaw puzzle, you are trying to find pieces that seamlessly fit into each other, and no two pieces fit the same.
Watch the video clip above for more info.