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No matter what your opinion on this explicit content, porn isn’t going anywhere. In fact, if anything, as our access to said material continues to grow (through smartphones, desktops, tablets, etc.), we’re probably going to see a lot more of the stuff. When you’re in a relationship, however, this kind of open access can become a problem. Viewing others engaging in fantastical intimacy may cause jealousy to brew with the vitality of a Keurig, as viewing said material can ultimately makes the other feel as though they’ve failed their partner sexually.

While many believe porn to be a solely male issue, the truth of the matter is, porn’s female audience has grown exponentially in the past decade. PornHub.com, the world’s largest streaming porn website, recently found through statistical research that 23 per cent of porn viewers are female – that’s roughly one in four.

The solution to this issue isn’t very complicated, research has found, all it requires is some honest communication. A Canadian study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy recently found that couples who honestly disclose their love for porn are more satisfied in their relationships than those who choose to keep their porn a secret. As expected, porn acceptance in a relationship was found to be higher among men than it is with women, but not by much. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 70.8 per cent of men and 45.5 per cent of women report that pornography is acceptable in a relationship based on the circumstance.

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So, it would appear that porn acceptance in a relationship is actually a lot more generous than you might expect. This is all the more reason why you shouldn’t have a problem talking about porn with your partner! The truth of the matter is, to believe your partner doesn’t take a peek at porn every now and then might be a little unrealistic. But know that in most cases, he or she isn’t watching it because they don’t love you; they’re likely watching it for reasons they may not want to talk about: be it a fetish, they feel they aren’t getting as much sex as they’d like, or that you just go to bed long before they can initiate intimacy with you.

With that being said, here are some things to consider:

1. Know that by not telling your partner about the porn you watch you run the greater risk of them finding out behind your back and feeling deceived..
2. Porn should not be a priority in your relationship. If your partner feels as though porn is replacing them or that they feel the two of you aren’t having enough sex, promise to make your partner your priority and put porn on the back burner.
3. Ensure your partner knows that you love them and that porn won’t ever replace them. Tell your partner why you watch it – reveal your fetishes, tell them that you want to have sex more often, tell them that since they’re too tired to have sex at night, maybe you could give it a shot in the morning instead, etc.
4. If your partner doesn’t watch porn, invite them to watch it with you. Porn can be a great way to set the mood and, who knows, this could be a raunchier movie night alternative that you two can take part in together.
5. When the talk is done, you two should come to an agreement on the porn issue. Whether you have to compromise or they do, make sure that this is the only porn chat you two need to have, because yeah, it’s awkward.

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