It’s been seven seasons and eight years since Game of Thrones (catch up now on Crave) took our Sunday nights away. The colossal HBO series debuted in April 2011 and made the impossible possible, turning a fantasy series with dragons and incest and a cast of relative unknowns into the biggest show in the world. Now, with only a few weeks until the series finale debuts on April 14, there’s one overarching thought that I can’t seem to shake – I am so ready for Game of Thrones to be done. Go ahead, tell Cersei I said that. I want her to know it was me.
I love TV as much as a person can love TV without it being weird (maybe it’s a bit weird), but my love of TV means that I am emotionally involved with shows. Few shows have caused palpitations and heightened heart rates quite like Game of Thrones. I’m exhausted and I’m ready for it to be over.
WHEN YOU PLAY THE GAME OF THRONES EVERYONE DIES
Throwing out the unspoken ‘don’t kill the main character’ rule in season one with the death of Ned Stark (if that’s a spoiler then you’re reading the wrong article), GoT has continually made us fall in love with characters, only to force us to endure their ghastly and horrific deaths (RIP Hodor). Sure, author George RR Martin and show creators David Benioff and D.B. Weiss threw us the occasional bone and killed a baddie (death to King Joffrey!), but for the most part we’ve spent seven seasons praying to the High Sceptor that our faves would live to see another gruelling, muddy, depressing day in Westeros. Like Prince Oberyn’s skull, our nerves are shattered.
THE NIGHT IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS
Not only are we in constant turmoil over character deaths, we are in constant turmoil because nothing good happens on this show. At least, nothing good lasts. Ygritte and Jon fell in love and then Jon watched Ygritte die. Robb Stark became king and married his love Talisa and then they were stabbed to death, along with their unborn child and Robb’s mother Catelyn. Arya and Sansa Stark watched their noble and loving father get beheaded. Tyrion spent his life being tormented by his father Tywin and then watched the woman he loved go to bed with him. Don’t even get us started on Greyscale.
Like many dramas, the desire to keep fans entertained usually also means keeping them emotionally invested, which for GoT means slowly killing us with each episode. In March, Weiss told EW that he knows its impossible to write a series finale all viewers will like, but hopes to follow in Breaking Bad’s footsteps, saying “Is it an A or an A+?” Also, like Breaking Bad, we were relieved when the brilliant but depressing series ended. Is Walter White alive? Honestly, I don’t care. We were all Jesse Pinkman driving off in a screaming blaze of glory, happy to see everyone burning behind him and finally be done with feeling awful after every episode.
WALK AWAY FROM YOUR QUEEN OF TV
The best way to keep the memory of an amazing show untainted is by taking a final bow while still on top. The scripts on Game of Thrones were dealt a blow when Weiss and Benioff took over writing duties from Martin, but the pair managed to even things out with blockbuster battle scenes and luscious landscapes. Game of Thrones ending this year is the safest way to ensure that the series will remain first of its name, breaker of TV convention chains, ruler of Sunday nights.
STICK ‘EM WITH THE POINTY END
I swear, if this final season doesn’t include a beautiful and emotional reunion between Arya and big bro Jon Snow, I will…well, I won’t do anything because I need to see how this show plays out, but I’ll be very upset and possibly send out some angry tweets. Game of Thrones owes us some happy moments. Shireen’s death? COME ON!
WINTER IS COMING
We tell the God of Death ‘not today,’ but at some point it has to be today and there has to be a new season. Game of Thrones has broken the TV mold in several ways, from its elaborate sets, to intricate battle scenes, to brilliant writing, but it’s also stood out from the pack for taking up to one year between seasons. You can’t rush perfection, but you can hurry it up a little bit.
We understand why the show creators need so much time to make every season of Game of Thrones, because wow, but for a show as confusing as GoT, we feel like every spring requires us to study for a final exam in order to remember where we left off last year. Just like in real life, this winter has felt endless. Call us when it’s flip flop weather again.
MY WATCH HAS ENDED
When the series does finally conclude on May 19, it will be the beginning of a new chapter of endless debates and opinions on whether the game of thrones was played correctly. As Ramsay Bolton said, “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”
I’ll just be happy to no longer be stressed out.
Binge seasons 1 to 7 of Game of Thrones, then tune in for the Season 8 premiere on Sunday, April 14 at 9 p.m. ET, all on Crave.