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Our beloved Idris Elba has a new movie coming out October 6th: The Mountain Between Us, co-starring the almost, but not quite, as delightful Kate Winslet. Got that? Movie, October 6. And now that we’ve got that bit of promo out of the way (you’re welcome, Idris), let’s get to the real meat of the promotion.

Idris—he’s our boyfriend, so we call him Idris–is no slouch when it comes to supporting projects he’s involved in. When he’s on board he gives it his all. He can really do no wrong. Remember that time he was almost our Valentine? We were so close… Ok, wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. We’ll come back to that though. Promise.

To promote his upcoming film, Idris sat down to read a collection of ‘Idris Elba’ fan fiction that other people (not us, sigh) had written. Sometimes confused, sometimes amused, sometimes plain weirded out, but still sexy, always sexy, Idris narrated the romantic tales, straight out of our dreams, like only he could. Sexily.

Delicious, no? We’re a little flushed. Which reminds us of that time we almost dated! It was almost Valentine’s Day, the brisk winds of winter whipped our long auburn hair around our supple neck, and Idris, dear, dear Idris reached out to ask us, in dulcet tones, would we please, please do him this honour. Would we, could we be his Valentine?

Sadly we were busy that night. But we might have some free time this year.