This is one crime that’s really going to come back to haunt him. Indian police caught a man who was accused of stealing a gold chain from a woman in Mumbai. After he denied taking it, officers took him to a hospital to have an X-ray performed, which produced an image clearly showing the chain in his stomach. So police did the only thing they could: feed the crook 40 bananas and wait until the chain passed through his system. “Eventually the chain was found,” a police officer said. “We made him wash and disinfect it.”
Just call him the new Jeremy Meeks. When Donald Pugh failed to appear in court this week, an Ohio police department posted the man’s mugshot on Facebook in an attempt to track him down (he’s considered a person of interest in separate arson and vandalism cases). But after the image sat on the internet for a while, Pugh sent cops a selfie to use instead of the mugshot. “[The police] did me wrong,” a man who identified himself as Pugh told a radio station. “They put a picture out that had me looking like I was a Thundercat or something.” There’s been no word on whether he’s been apprehended.
Yee haw! Florida police were called on Christine Taylor after a neighbour accused her of “trying to fight people in the trailer park.” Taylor allegedly showed up to the neighbour’s home, where she pushed over a BBQ and tossed several pork chops onto the lawn. She then lifted her shift, bearing her breasts to the victim and his three children. Taylor was later arrested on a disorderly conduct charge.
Ya think? Lewis Flint, 21, was a young and naive 16-year-old when he decided to get a tattoo of a cartoon-vacuum cleaner on his crotch. He says that when he first got the ink, he got “loads of attention” and was even considered “a bit of a local hero” (we do not understand that last part either). But once he entered his twenties, his tattoo was less warmly received. “I was with a girl recently and I liked her, things were going well until we got naked,” he said. “When she saw [the tattoo] she said ‘what’s that? I am off'”. Flint is now planning to have the tattoo removed.
— Daily Express (@Daily_Express) January 12, 2016
Why doesn’t he just go ahead and ban the actual movies while he’s at it? Mike Shotton says his enjoyment of Star Wars: The Force Awakens was ruined by other theatre-goers chomping down on popcorn, which he calls “the loudest food known to man.” He’s actually circulating a petition to have popcorn banned from all movie theatres in the U.K., but so far it only has 126 signatures. Womp womp.