After what had to be a pretty straight-laced, GOOP filled, gluten-free 11-year relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin has apparently decided to switch up his romantic life pretty darn drastically. And by pretty drastically, we mean drrrrrraaaaasticalllllly.
It’s being speculated that the Brit singer is now dating spunky, young and vibrant Hollywood A-lister Jennifer Lawrence. The two have apparently been dating for a couple months after meeting each other at a Coldplay concert this summer in London. Word has it that the Lawrence has given the soggy Brit a much needed “new lease on life” because she is so different from Paltrow. No kidding!
On the surface, it’s fairly evident that starched and pressed Gwyneth and free-spirited and rambunctious J-Law are very different people. Let’s take a good look at just how different Goopy Gwyneth and J-Law really are. Except where, y’know, they’re the same.
Their Approach to Food
As evidenced in several editions of her GOOP newsletter and overheard in countless self-righteous quotes, Gwyneth is pretty militant when it comes to healthy eating for herself and her kids. She believes in organic foods, fruits and vegetables and would “rather die” than let her kids eat a cup-of-soup or consume cheese from a can. J-Law on the other hand is a free spirit when it comes to eating. She obsessed with pizza and McDonalds (which she proudly ate at the Oscars the year she won).
Their Career Accolades
Both have starred in some blockbuster and acclaimed movies, but J-Law has the advantage of youth. At 41, Gwyneth has won an Oscar and Golden Globe for Best Actress. At just 24, Lawrence has already won an Oscar for Best Actress and TWO Golden Globes. We still call samesies here.
Their Super Hero Roles
Gwyneth and J-Law have starred in major superhero movies. Of course their roles in those movies are complete opposites. In the Iron Man franchise, Paltrow plays the good, sensible, straight-laced Pepper Potts. J-Law plays the evil, sexy, dressed-down super villain Mystique in the latest X-Men franchise. Sounds about right.
In Gwyneth’s free time, she likes to try to better the world (and her pocketbook) by writing her GOOP newsletter. She shares the way she lives her life and encourages others to follow the same standards and trends — yawn. J-Law, on the other hand, obviously doesn’t have time for that GOOP. She prefers to kick around with friends, play sports and just chill like every other normal human being.
Their Stance On Partying
Who would have guessed that Gwyneth isn’t a party animal? Paltrow claims she doesn’t drink and says she surrounds herself with friends who drink in moderation and know how to hold their liquor. She also feels that being drunk is degrading. J-Law has a much more laid back approach to drinking and having a good time. She has often joked about drinking on set and doing shots at the Oscars.
Their Exercise Habits
Gwyneth believes strongly in exercise and feels that every woman, even with children around, can make time to do it. She said she has even exercised with kids crawling on her. J-Law has publicly said she hates exercising and dreads doing it.
Their Stance On Smoking
Gwyneth is a very health conscious lady. She eats organic, allows her kids to drink Coke only once a week, and most definitely doesn’t smoke. J-Law is a smoker. We’ll give that a solid thumbs down, but hey, different strokes.
Their Career Outlook
Gwyneth has stated that being an actress and mother is tougher than having an everyday job and being a mother. She also believes she is “really f***ing good” at her job and only cares about the people that recognize that. J-Law doesn’t seem to take herself or her job too seriously. We’ve all seen her tell countless jokes, embarrass herself and get star-struck by her idols at award ceremonies.
Their ability to kick butt
While training for her role in The Hunger Games franchise, J-Law was taught how to properly use a bow and arrow which she kept in the trunk of her car for a year. That makes her a certifiable bad ass. Gwyneth isn’t really the weapons type, but she does know how to make a killer salad.
Their Name Dropping Etiquette
Gwyneth frequently likes to remind the world that she is friends with some famous and important people. Yes, yes, we know Jay Z and Beyonce have taught you so many life lessons. J-Law is like a little kid around celebrities, constantly seen at award shows and red carpets in awe of her heroes like Jack Nicholson.
Their Sharing of Personal Life Details
Gwyneth seems to firmly believe in sharing her personal life with the world. This was made obvious when she released her infamous “consciously uncoupling” note about her separation from Chris Martin. J-Law keeps her personal life private and doesn’t publicly address her relationships…especially in a newsletter.
Relating to their fans
And finally, Gwyneth comes across as a figure of guidance to lead fans toward living better and healthier lifestyle. She is a self-imposed role model. J-Law seems to be just like her fans, perfectly imperfect, and happy to be that way.