If you haven’t had the sex talk with your child, you might want to turn to Jada Pinkett Smith for some tips. The latest episode of her Facebook series, Red Table Talk, was the sex episode and things got intimate as Jada, her mom, Adrienne Banfield Norris, her daughter, Willow Smith, and Willow’s friend, Telana Lynum, got together to chat about sex and masturbation.
While Adrienne wasn’t super-keen to be chatting about the non-traditional subject matter with her granddaughter, Jada was insistent that Willow didn’t feel “shame of any kind.” And with a mom as chill as Jada, Willow seemed OK discussing sex and self-pleasure — though maybe that’s because when she was younger, she walked in on Jada and Will Smith getting it on.
The 17-year-old acknowledged that she knew she “overstepped a boundary” and that she “wasn’t supposed to be there,” likening it to walking in on her mom meditating, a time when you “don’t get in her business.” Yeah, sure, that’s the same.
Jada’s first sexual experience, which she describes as “amazing,” might’ve been just that because she had early experiences with masturbation, and knew what she liked and what to expect.
“My grandmother taught me about self-pleasuring because she wanted me to know that that pleasure was from me,” said Pinkett Smith. “She didn’t want me to fall into the hands of a man and, if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him. And she taught me at 9 — at 9!”
The subject soon turned to orgasms, and Jada was open about that as well.
“I’ve had a lot of experience with sex toys … I think by your age I gave myself multiples first, multiple orgasms. I did,” Jada told Willow’s 21-year-old pal. “I was really into it at one point. Just because I was in an exploration state and I was abstaining from men. I actually think I went through kind of an addiction, too with it … And then one day I was like, ‘Enough. You’re having five orgasms a day.'”
She added: “You get addicted ’cause you can create so much pleasure. You just constantly want it.”
Adrienne only had praise for Jada, saying, “I’m so happy for you. In regard to your sexuality, because you’ve always been pretty free, I think. I just didn’t have that.”
Hmm, wonder if there are more parents like Adrienne or Jada out there. The topic definitely shouldn’t be taboo but there’s bound to be awkwardness, not only from broaching the subject but getting into the nitty-gritty, so to speak. But once that dialogue has started, it should get easier. And ultimately, it’s better that they hear about it from their parents rather than society and other kids.
It’s a discussion that needs to be had — and not just between parents and sons. Moms (and dads, though not sure how well that would go over) need to inform their daughters too. Masturbation can be considered shameful — and, for some, even evil — and that’s the real shame. Because there’s nothing bad about it. On the contrary, it’s healthy, it’s good for your mental health (endorphins, baby!), it’s taking ownership of your own body and being familiar with it and, let’s be honest here, it feels pretty damn great.