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For the most part, Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum kept their private life private so when they  announced they were splitting up in a joint statement letting the world know that they had “lovingly chosen to separate as a couple,” it was shocking, to say the least. They added that there were “no secrets nor salacious events at the root of our decision — just two best-friends realizing it’s time to take some space and help each other live the most joyous, fulfilled lives as possible.” Channing and Jenna added they were simply headed on “different paths” and would continue to be a family and loving, dedicated parents to their daughter, Everly, and it was sad yet lovely and, deep down, many held out hope that they would find their way back together. But, alas, that wasn’t the case. Both Jenna and Channing have since moved on—but it was the way Dewan learned Tatum had embarked on a new relationship that was especially painful for her.

Dewan has a new book coming out in which she revealed just how she found out her ex had begun dating singer Jessie J. “I was learning things about my ex most people wouldn’t have to face–and over the internet, as it was happening,” the actress and dancer wrote in Gracefully You: How to Live Your Best Life Every Day, according to an except shared with Us Weekly. “There I was, on a plane, alone, finding out about his new relationship. I felt blindsided. Choosing grace as I learned everything about my personal situation along with the rest of the world was really difficult.”

It was in October, six months after Channing and Jenna split, that reports of the Magic Mike star and “Price Tag” singer first surfaced. And soon enough, they weren’t shy about publicly sharing their feelings for one another.

But that’s also when people started to compare Jessie with Jenna and neither women were there for that nonsenes. That’s right, looks like they both chose grace when it came down to external forces trying to pit against one another.

As for Dewan, she couldn’t be happier. She has since moved on with actor Steve Kazee and the two recently revealed they are expecting their first child together.

Gracefully You: How to Live Your Best Life Every Day is available Tuesday, October 22.

Jenna Dewan went on a post-breakup Peruvian retreat