Downton Abbey bowed and curtsied its way into the sunset after six seasons, and many people are still crying in their teacups. When a show this beloved goes on for this long, even if the ending is satisfying and delightful enough, it’s still sad to know that we’ll never hear the haunting theme song again (except while streaming, of course).
But how about a never-before-heard version of the theme song? Will that whet Downton Abbey fans’ appetites? On Monday night’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the late-night host welcomed a tuxedo-clad John Legend, who was sitting at a piano to perform the lyrical version of the theme song.
And from the opening line, it was obvious the song wasn’t in keeping with the dignified PBS series.
“Everyone we know is very white,” the song began. “We don’t have one black friend.”
The lyrics took aim at individual characters, like the show’s matriarch.
“Grandmamma is always such a witch. She needs to get laid. She’s always ready with a diss.” The singer also referred to “nice guy” murderer Mr. Bates and gay butler Thomas Barrow, then moved to tea time and nap time and wanting a scone.
Legend then ended with some harsh lyrics about Lady Edith Pelham, calling her a loser and “Why won’t she just die? Why? Why?” No, really, WHY?
Thanks to Kimmel and Legend’s silky voice, Downton Abbey will forever live on — maybe just not the way we thought.