Two and a Half Men might be over, but ever since show co-creator Chuck Lorre revealed that Charlie Sheen declined to return for the series finale (in which his character was killed for real), Sheen’s controversial firing from the show has lit up water coolers all over again. (To be fair his latest Twitter rant, which takes aim at Obama, has helped fuel that fire.)
But nothing that has been written about the actor has blown our minds quite like what Jon Cryer just wrote. Cryer, who played the Emmy-winning Alan Harper on Two and a Half Men for its 12-season run, just revealed what it was really like to work with Sheen in a new article in The Hollywood Reporter.
Some of the stuff you kind of expect. Other things? Well they’re brutal. Here are six reveals of what actually went down, according to Cryer, as told in his upcoming memoir, So That Happened.
Sheen owned a lot of porn
Well, duh. Who didn’t see that one coming? Amusingly though, Sheen’s former wife Denise Richards wasn’t a fan. During the first season of Men, Cryer recalls Sheen once frantically knocking on his trailer door, asking him to hide a giant bag of run-of-the-mill porn before Richards got to set.
Well… we suppose everyone needs some bathroom reading.
Sheen in Vegas was totally boring
While he was married, anyhow. According to Cryer, when the pair travelled to Vegas to promote the show, he was curious what kind of “decadence” Sheen would bring to the trip. Apparently not much at all. He pretty much went back to his room and had a nap, while one of the show’s directors (James Burrows) played blackjack.
Perhaps Cryer based a portion of his Alan Harper character on Charlie after all?
Charlie has a weird photo fetish
When Sheen became single during the show’s second season, he would tell Cryer that his love life was going “romantically.” He would then whip out a picture of some gal’s vagina as if to prove the point. Just the vagina, mind you.
No word on whether then half-man Angus T. Jones got to see that action. Although who could blame him for trying?
Cryer and Sheen once dated the same woman
It wasn’t on purpose. Cryer was getting over a failed marriage and met a girl he hit it off with. Sheen then broke the news that he’d been agonizing over it with his therapist, but in the end needed to tell his co-star that he’d dated this girl previously. The reason for their breakup? She wasn’t down with Sheen bringing another woman into bed with them. “So heads-up on that,” he warned Cryer.
Cryer broke up with her that night.
We’re pretty positive Alan would have had a different reaction.
The guy had the same bail bondsman as Kobe Bryant
When Sheen was arrested in 2009 for reported spousal battery of third wife Brooke Mueller, Cryer texted him to make sure everything was OK.
“Thanks bro. Yikes — f*** me, wut a bad day … I’m flying home tonite. I’ll try to call over the weekend. Shower rape was bad but the food was okay. Hair and makeup for mug shot got there too late,” THR quotes. “He followed that with: ‘And I had same bail bondsman as Kobe. … No joke … :)'”
BFFs for life, right there.
Sheen and Mary Poppins don’t mix
During the actor’s now infamous downward spiral with drug and alcohol abuse, he made headlines in New York for trashing a hotel room and leaving behind an escort, naked and locked in the closet. So what was he up to earlier that same day? According to Cryer, Sheen was seeing Mary Poppins while visiting Richards and his kids. The same kids who had to wake him up 48 minutes into the show.
“Thanks, bro. … Shoulda stayed for the whole Poppins show. … Oops … :)” Sheen reportedly texted Cryer later when he checked in.
So basically, Charlie was taking his on-screen personality offline.
And that’s just the beginning of what’s to come, now that Cryer has officially announced the launch date of his new memoir, So That Happened, on April 7.
Is it wrong that we kind of want to know more?