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Justin Bieber is opening up about his past like never before. The Canadian pop star posted a lengthy and revealing message on Monday on his Instagram account and addressed several topics, including his past drug use, his unstable upbringing, his struggle with child stardom, and his mental health.

Captioning the long note with the line “Hope you find time to read this it’s from my heart,” Bieber opens the raw post about his struggles with anxiety and depression, topics that he has continued to speak candidly about over the past year in an effort to break down the stigma around mental health. “It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning with the right attitude when you are overwhelmed with your life your past, job, responsibilities, emotions, your family, finances, your relationships,” wrote Bieber. “Sometimes it can even get to the point where you don’t even want to live anymore.”

Bieber begins to draw connections between his depression and stardom, illustrating that being rich and famous doesn’t exclude anyone from struggling with their mental health. “You see I have a lot of money, clothes, cars, accolades, achievements, awards and I was still unfulfilled,” writes Bieber, who points out the high rate of child stars who develop drug and alcohol dependencies because of what Bieber calls “an insane amount of pressure and responsibility” on a brain that is still developing. The product of a teen pregnancy, Bieber adds that he didn’t grow up in a stable environment and described going from an unknown preteen to a superstar in two years was meant “my whole world was flipped on its head.”

“I went from a 13-year-old boy from a small town to being praised left and right by the world, with millions saying how much they loved me and how great I was,” he shared. “You hear these things enough as a young boy and you actually start believing it.” Adding that rationality comes with age, Bieber writes “Everyone did everything for me, so I never even learned the fundamentals of responsibility. By this point, I was 18 with no skills in the real world, with millions of dollars and access to whatever I wanted.”

“This is a very scary concept for anyone. By 20, I made every bad decision you could have thought of and went from one of the most loved and adored people in the world to the most ridiculed, judged, and hated person in the world,” Bieber said, citing the high use of drugs among musicians who experience the incredible dopamine rush every night from performing on stage. “I started doing pretty heavy drugs at 19 and abused all of my relationships. I became resentful, disrespectful to women, and angry. I became distant to everyone who loved me, and I was hiding behind, a shell of a person that I had become.”

Ending things on a positive note, Bieber concludes the message by thanking God and his wife, Hailey Bieber. “Luckily, God blessed me with extraordinary people who love me for me,” wrote Bieber. “Now I am navigating the best season of my life ‘MARRIAGE’ !! Which is an amazing, crazy, new responsibility. You learn patience, trust, commitment, kindness, humility, and all of the things it looks like to be a good man.”

 

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Hope you find time to read this it’s from my heart

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

Bieber’s emotional and unfiltered post has garnered praise by his fans and those closest to him, with manager Scooter Braun, longtime friend Ryan Good, musical director Dan Kanter, and fellow musicians Ed Sheeran, Cody Simpson, Sean Kingston and actor Patrick Schwarzenegger all posting messages of support.

Justin and wife Hailey are expected to have a large religious wedding ceremony this month following their quickie courthouse marriage in September 2018 and it looks like the pair have been working hard at ensuring they’re setting themselves up for a strong and healthy relationship.