Kaitlynn Carter is addressing her whirlwind relationship with Miley Cyrus in a new essay and the frustration with being forced to label her sexuality. In an essay for Elle, Kaitlynn shares that she fell in love with Cyrus but refuses to define herself for easy public digestion.
Miley and Kaitlynn were first spotted together in August, shortly after both women split from their husbands, Liam Hemsworth and The Hills star Brody Jenner, respectively. Then romance sparked while the two newly-single friends were on vacation in Lake Como, Italy and the relationship burned fast, hot and bright for a couple months—one was rarely seen without the other—until it ultimately ended at the end of September. Miley took up with Cody Simpson soon after.
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She was head over heels for Miley
When a relationship is as quick and public as the Carter-Cyrus one was, people tend to wonder if it was just a publicity stunt. Kaitlynn assures readers that was not the case.
“This past July, I went on vacation with a female friend; the next thing I knew, I was in love with her,” the essay begins. “Until that trip, it had never crossed my mind that I was even capable of loving a woman the way I loved her.”
She adds: “Reflecting back on our three-year friendship, I realized I’d always been drawn to her in a way I wasn’t with other friends, but until that trip it had never crossed my mind to think of her in a romantic sense.”
Her marriage to Jenner was “very real”
Similarly, there has been speculation that since she’s now had a relationship with a woman, Kaitlynn’s relationship with Brody Jenner, a man, was illegitimate. Kaitlynn rejects that dangerously reductive view of sexuality, and asserts that her five-year relationship with her husband was as real as it gets.
“The legitimacy of that marriage has become a matter of public debate, but for [Brody] and I, it was very real,” she writes. “He was quite possibly the most beautiful man on the planet, with a heart of gold and a tireless sense of adventure. I was drawn to his spirit… He became my best friend, and together we had all the fun the world had to offer.”
She writes of their split: “Eventually though, after years of constant ‘excitement,’ we found we’d done as much growing apart as we’d done growing up.”
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She’s not going to label herself
Miley has attempted to label her own sexuality, but Kaitlynn says she’s still figuring it out and has no intention to force herself into a box.
“I know I’m not alone in feeling pressure to explain or define myself in one way or another,” she writes. “I guess technically I could label myself a number of ways. Or on second thought, not at all. Why are we so hellbent on defining each variation of sexuality, anyway? We’ve become a society of labels, even as we claim to be more open-minded than ever.”
“[My sexuality] is something I’m still exploring and figuring out. Even I don’t entirely understand what my experience this summer means for me going forward—and it’s my experience.”
She’s “eternally grateful” for the journey of self-discovery
Kaitlynn doesn’t seem to hold any resentment toward Cyrus and explains this whole experience has been about figuring out more about herself.
“While it was short-lived, I’ll remain eternally grateful to my most recent relationship for opening my eyes to this unexplored part of myself, and for inspiring a new level of self-discovery and wonder at all the possibilities of life,” she writes. “I’ve been forced to get to know myself in a far deeper way than ever before, and not just in terms of my sexual preferences. I’ve also been forced to reckon with who I am as a person.”
“Although the relationship with my friend was often referenced in the media as merely a ‘summer fling’ or a ‘same-sex affair,’ it was so much more than that,” she continues. “This was a profound journey of self-discovery. For the first time, I listened to myself, forgot about the ‘norm,’ and lived. ”