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The couple we all love to hate (or hate to love) has made the cover of the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar. But you don’t need to wait to see some of the pictures, and read their amazingly cringe-worthy interview.

The interview is all over the place, and has answers you can only get from Kimye. For instance, the interviewer asked the couple their favourite Taylor Swift song. (As if the drama wasn’t enough already). Kanye replied, saying he doesn’t have one, while Kim just stated “I was such a fan of hers.” Was. We see that past tense, Kim.

Kanye also gave us some insight that really got us thinking, “I actually don’t like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don’t. I do not like to think at all.” He then went on to grace us with this mind bender, “I think about things to put them in a place where I don’t have to think about them anymore. Say if I had a child with a really bad mom, I would have to think more than if I had a child with a good mom. I’m just doing my homework early. I told my trainer today, I’m a mix of a 14-year-old high schooler and a 60-year-old guy. It can never fall into the 30s or the 40s. It has to be 100 percent 60 or 100 percent 14, no in between.” We’re going to ponder that bit truth for the rest of the day.

We also learned a bit about Kim and her ‘secret talent.’ Apparently she can smell when someone has a cavity. You read that right, she smells the cavity. Is that a thing? No, really. Someone tell us.

Naturally, Kanye discussed his own nude selfies, as well as Kim’s. He then blessed us with what is possibly the most ridiculous thing he’s ever said: “I think it’s important for Kim to have her figure. To not show it would be like Adele not singing.” We don’t know what to say to that, we’re literally speechless (we can still type though, thank goodness).

Kim’s most recent pregnancy was also up for discussion. Kanye supported her through the pregnancy in the way only Kanye can. “[Kim] killed this second pregnancy, though. [Kim’s] body slammed that crap. [Kim] made that second pregnancy [her] bitch.” Well at least he’s supportive of his wife!

Finally the pair was asked what they’d like to be remembered for. Kim had a longish explanation about being sexy and successful. Kanye’s response wasn’t nearly as long. “Determined. I would say my determination is way higher than my smartness.” Don’t worry Kanye, we’re pretty sure people will remember you for your…determination.

 
WATCH: Kanye’s so into Kim, he watches her try on clothes for hours