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Surely we can all agree, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have no shortage of space at their L.A. home, but that doesn’t mean they don’t dream of a place in the country. Rumours have been circulating this week that the Kardashian-Wests are planning a big move to Wyoming and last night, Kim confirmed the reports and shared the surprisingly harrowing first night the family spent on the property. Not exactly the cozy country getaway they might have hoped for.

The story came out during Kim’s appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (weeknights on CTV2 at 11:35 p.m. ET) where a game of “Show Me Your Phone” (where all manner of other hilarity ensued) led to her dutifully obliging to share her last text exchange with Kanye. The message was a photo of the ranch’s sign—”West Lake”—and an adorable message saying, “The first ranch in our family… 50 years from now this will mean so much to us.” Say it with us now: “Awww.”

But while Kanye may have been harbouring fantasies of rustic trips away from the hustle-bustle of city life, it turns out their first foray up there as a fam was more reminiscent of a horror movie. Staying in a cabin on the property, they found themselves on nearly 5,000 acres of land with no cell service, no electricity and no bathroom. What kind of (rumoured) $14 million property doesn’t have a bathroom?

Apparently Kim can be quite the (reluctant) survivalist when she needs to be and survived the night with the kids after Kanye fell asleep and all the iPads died. And it was far from the glamourous amenities of Calabasas, with Kim going a bit batty, fearing wild animals and reduced to, wait for it, peeing in a bottle. Is this not the plot of sit-com Halloween special?

After going through all that, Kim realized the next morning that the cabin where they were staying was just up the hill from a full hotel—presumably with functioning facilities and everything! Kanye just wanted their first night to be “romantic.” Sounds like these two have pretty different visions of romance.

Describing the ranch as the “prettiest place you’ve ever seen in your entire life,” Kim did share a longheld dream of wanting a country getaway. And though Kanye’s ultimate “dream and vision is to move there,” Kim’s thinking of it as more of a part-time residence, saying she can “envision summers … some weekends,” spent there. And after her horror-movie experience, who can blame her.