If you’re looking for diet advice, don’t expect Lena Dunham to dish it out. The writer and actor is on the cover of the latest US Weekly with the headline, “20 Slimdown Diet Tips Stars Are Using” and, “Lena: How She Gets Motivated” placed next to a paparazzi-snapped photo. But here’s the thing: Dunham doesn’t have weight-loss advice. Or, at least not the kind of slimming tricks you expect to hear.
In what we like to imagine accompanied a hilarious soliloquy of rage after discovering this US Weekly cover (which, clearly was not approved by the star), Dunham uploaded a snap of the mag to Instagram, and listed her very own “20 slimdown diet tips!” as she captioned it.
“I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx,” she wrote, which was appropriately listed as ‘tip’ number 20.
Dunham also included “Election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny,” “Abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus,” “Worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t,” and “A quiet rage that replaces need for food” as other bits of advice.
20 slimdown diet tips! 1. anxiety disorder * 2. resultant constant nausea 3. an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny 4. constant sweaty dreams of dystopian future 5. abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus * 6. baseless but still harrowing threats to physical safety online and through smail mail 7. watching institutions you love from Planned Parenthood to PBS be threatened by cartoon mustache-twirling villains 8. finally realizing superheroes aren’t real (specifically the X-Factor, really thought they’d handle this) 9. marching your ass off 10. a quiet rage that replaces need for food with need for revenge 11. sleeping 19 hours a day 12. realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut 13. worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t 14. realizing who ya real friends are 15. having to switch from Uber to Lyft (lots of calories burned trying to understand a new app, then even more trying to understand if the conflict was resolved) 16. bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency * 17. having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com 18. keeping your back arched against the wind 19. um, who the fuck cares? 20. I have no tips I give no tips I don’t want to be on this cover cuz it’s diametrically opposed to everything I’ve fought my whole career for and it’s not a compliment to me because it’s not an achievement thanx * Star indicates a pre-existing condition
Thing is, when words are your craft, as they are for Dunham, you use ’em to your advantage when you can.
Her fans are praising her version of the diet tips, leaving comments like “You’re awesome. Thank you,” “Slayed” and “I don’t think I could love this harder. I love this a million times round the sun and million times more. Amazing woman!” on the post.
The actor has made it pretty clear in the past that she doesn’t give the “tiniest of shits what anyone else feels about my body.” But that hasn’t stopped some titles from publicly praising the star for whatever she’s doing to her bod behind closed doors.
Thank you for this @Refinery29. I feel I’ve made it pretty clear over the years that I don’t give even the tiniest of shits what anyone else feels about my body. I’ve gone on red carpets in couture as a size 14. I’ve done sex scenes days after surgery, mottled with scars. I’ve accepted that my body is an ever changing organism, not a fixed entity- what goes up must come down and vice versa. I smile just as wide no matter my current size because I’m proud of what this body has seen and done and represented. Chronic illness sufferer. Body-shaming vigilante. Sexual assault survivor. Raging hottie. Just like all of YOU. Right now I’m struggling to control my endometriosis through a healthy diet and exercise. So my weight loss isn’t a triumph and it also isn’t some sign I’ve finally given in to the voices of trolls. Because my body belongs to ME–at every phase, in every iteration, and whatever I’m doing with it, I’m not handing in my feminist card to anyone. So thank you to my girl @ashleygraham for writing so gorgeously about this on @lennyletter (link in bio). Thank you to @tracyandersonmethod for teaching me that exercise has the power to counteract my pain and anxiety, and to @jennikonner for being my partner in FUCK IT. I refuse to celebrate these bullshit before-and-after pictures. Don’t we have infinitely more pressing news to attend to? So much love to all my web friends who demand that life be more than a daily weigh in, who know their merit has nothing to do with their size, who fight to be seen and heard and accepted. I love you- Lena
“My weight loss isn’t a triumph and it also isn’t some sign I’ve finally given into the voices of trolls. Because my body belongs to ME ― at every phase, in every iteration, and whatever I’m doing with it,” she wrote in a caption on Instagram back in March.
As always, Dunham’s take on body image and rights was poignant to the point of inspiring. We applaud you, Lena D!