On February 13, The New York Times published an exposé on singer-songwriter Ryan Adams. Interviewing seven women, including Adams’ ex-wife and This Is Us star Mandy Moore, the article detailed countless incidents of psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse perpetrated by Adams. The women’s stories were corroborated by friends and family, with Adams denying the allegations. Now Moore is once again speaking out about her ex, this time appearing on comedian Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast and giving listeners an idea of the emotionally abusive nature of their marriage.
Moore recorded the podcast before the article in The Times was published, speaking openly about the dark years she spent married to Adams, whom she wed in 2009. In the article, Moore says her career stalled as a result of her marriage, with Adams forcing her to fire her managers and producers, often hiring other female singers to record songs that Moore thought were hers. Speaking with Maron, Moore says that another way her career suffered was her inability to take on full-time acting and singing jobs, knowing that her marriage and her husband required her full attention.
“I would do little jobs. It’s not like I completely stopped working. I would do things here or there, but it would become abundantly clear while I was working, things would completely fall apart at home,” said Moore. “I couldn’t do my job because there was a constant stream of trying to pay attention to this person who needed me and wouldn’t let me do anything else.”
Moore paints a dark picture of her time with Adams, which included years spent feeling alone and unsupported. “I was living my life for him,” said Moore. “It [was] an entirely unhealthy dynamic. I had no sense of self. I felt like I was drowning. It was so untenable and unsustainable and it was so lonely. I was so sad.”
Thankfully, Moore was able to eventually get out of the marriage, filing for divorce in 2015. “I knew that this wasn’t the rest of my life. I knew that this wasn’t the person I was supposed to be with. I knew that I wasn’t the person I was meant to be.”
Moore and Adams first met in 2008, one year after her mother had left her father for another woman. The actor, who was 23 at the time, says she quickly fell for the 33-year-old rocker. “When you feel out of control in a situation, [like] I can’t control my immediate family, and the fact that this particular situation blew us up in a way … I guess kind of just thought, ‘I’ll create my own family,’” said Moore.
Since the article in The Times went public, the FBI opened an investigation into Adams over his alleged relationship with one of the women interviewed, who was 14 when she and Adams began exchanging sexually explicit text and photos.
Musician Phoebe Bridgers, another one of the seven women who bravely stepped forward to be interviewed by The Times, issued her own statement after the article was published. On her Instagram page, Bridgers called out the many people around Adams, including members of his band and entourage, who knew about the musician’s abusive behaviour and did nothing to stop it.
And that’s why there aren’t more women at the top of the music industry.
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It’s been a weird week and I wanted to say a couple things. Thank you from my whole fucking heart to my friends, my bands, my mom. They all supported and validated me. They told me that what had happened was fucked up and wrong, and that I was right to feel weird about it. I couldn’t have done this without them. Ryan had a network too. Friends, bands, people he worked with. None of them held him accountable. They told him, by what they said or by what they didn’t, that what he was doing was okay. They validated him. He couldn’t have done this without them. Guys, if your friend is acting fucked up, call them out. If they’re actually your friend, they’ll listen. That’s the way this all gets better.