The last time we saw Melissa McCarthy and Allison Janney team up on The Late Late Show with James Corden, they were playing an epic game of dodgeball with none other than Michelle Obama on their team, so naturally they know how to kick butt and leave ‘em begging for mercy. On Wednesday night, they got the band back together (minus one First Lady) to school us in how their teamwork makes the dream work but Hollywood was too blind to see it.
Apparently, Melissa and Allison were both cast in all of the biggest holiday blockbusters this year until their scenes were left on the cutting room floor. Impossible! This iconic duo? Who wouldn’t want to see them as cats in Cats? Or little women in Little Women? Or *record scratch* breastfeeding Baby Yoda?
Seeing their “cut” scene from Cats, we quickly realize why this didn’t really fit in with the vibe that Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, Idris Elba, Dame Judi Dench, and, yes, James Corden of the very show on which they were debuting the footage, brought to the finished cut. In what looks like old Bon Jovi wigs from the 80s and fake whiskers, they sang the musical classic, “Cats! Cats! Cute little cuddly flea-ridden Cats!” before horking up hairballs.
Gross and disturbing? Yes. But if you’ve seen the trailer or read a single review of the film (which all include phrases like “disturbingly humanoid creations” and “nightmarish anatomy lesson”), you might agree that this was infinitely less unnerving.
The dynamic duo also introduce us to their cut scene from Little Women… Remember that episode of Friends where Joey reads Little Women and asks, “These Little Women, just how little are they? Are they like scary little?” Why, yes, Joey—in this case, they most certainly are. Melissa and Allison are giants compared to these minuscule Victorian ladies in their elaborate frocks with their tiny tea cups. The drawn-out joke is actually worth it just to see Melissa and Allison cuss up a storm as they hit their heads on the ceiling.
No holiday move roundup is complete without the newest Star Wars movie. We didn’t know we needed to witness a Melissa and Allison lightsabre fight until now, but there you go. They are so persuasive in their roles as a second-rate Leia and Obi Wan, they could sell sour milk back to cows. Plus, they even come with their own sound effects department, providing the “Virrrrrp! Virrrrrp!” lightsabre noises themselves. After many ruined takes in a move nobody expected, Melissa begins to breastfeed Baby Yoda.
As one does.
Really, we don’t deserve to breathe the same air as Melissa and Allison, and the holiday movie season is poorer for having removed them from these blockbusters.
Watch The Late Late Show with James Corden weekdays at 12:37 a.m. ET on CTV.